I’m The Dollar Bill from Sarah Paulson’s Met Gala Outfit and I Am Not the Enemy

“The Met Gala is Grotesquely Out of Touch.” — The actor Sarah Paulson arrived on the iconic, treacherous steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art at the Met Gala Monday night in a sweeping Canadian-designed tulle dress and a U.S. dollar-bill-inspired blindfold over her eyes. – The Globe and Mail (May 6, 2026)

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I am the U.S. dollar bill that you saw accessorizing the actress Sarah Paulson’s recent Met Gala look. Despite all the controversy surrounding me, I am not the enemy.

 

I am a lowly one-dollar bill, a denomination that can’t even get you a cup of scorched coffee at your local greasy spoon. My buying power runs lower than three cigarettes exchanged for sexual favors at the county jail. When you find my pathetic, crumpled form in your pocket, you sigh with disappointment that I was not at least a fiver. I’m money, yes, but I’m not money money.

 

I’m not even worth the paper I am printed on (which is particularly true given that, in this outfit, I am made of fine, hand-woven silk). The lowly one-dollar bill should not have to shoulder the symbolism of late-stage capitalism and the evils it supports. I’m practically worthless these days.

I was meant to be part of a political statement about “people over profits,” even if I appeared as literally a profit over a person. Me, a currency, being used to register a poignant protest against profiteering. It was clumsy, yes, but the intention was pure. Lauren Sanchez Bezos even accidentally used me as a handkerchief to dab her ample lipstick during the Met Gala dinner. Is there a more powerful symbol of corporate excess than rich people proving they’ve never seen a one-dollar bill before, so much so that they are confused as to my very function?

 

The truth is that I actually don’t belong here amongst the rich and famous and their grotesque displays of wealth. I am one of you, fellow commoners.

 

Some of you will think of me as evil by nature. I concede that, as a U.S. dollar, I am responsible for devaluing the economies of much of the world. I’m the focal point of most criminal activity. I am greed, personified. But I am also quite fashionable, as far as currencies go. My pistachio hue really pops next to tulle fabric. Can other currencies do that? Face it – you can’t wear Bitcoin as a belt.

 

Go ahead and critique the celebrities who wore me, but don’t criticize me. I may be the blindfold in this chic and expensive outfit, but the celebrities are the ones who are wilfully blind to the irony of strutting on a bejewelled red carpet wearing cash as clothing in one of the most expensive cities in the United States.

 

In summary, please remember that the lowly one-dollar bill is not your enemy. I am less a mediocre medium of exchange and more a fashion accessory. I am thinking of moving into the fashion world full time. Did you know that I also make a great pocket square, or hair scrunchy?