Jobs Where It Is Acceptable To Say “A Whole Civilization Will Die Tonight” And Jobs Where It Is Not

Jobs Where It Is Not

Plumber

Snake handler

Lion tamer

Anyone working with animals

Aerospace Engineering and Operations Technologist

Mortuary Cosmetologist

GPS car navigation installer

Demi-God

National Window Director for Macy’s holiday displays

Rollercoaster architect

Helicopter tree trimmer

Crocodile egg collector

Influencer

Sleight of hand magician

Cat behavior consultant

Pet food taster

Ghostbuster

Water slide tester

Lincoln Lawyer

Ophthalmic medical technician

AI trainer

Movie extra

Golf ball diver

Ice rink hand-holder

Radio City Rockette

Lifeguard

The guy who does the other 10% of Tom Cruise’s stunts

Fortune cookie writer

Scrum master

Home health aide

Host of radio call-in show

Feng shui consultant

Short order cook

Daily Show correspondent

Dentist (includes Endodontist, Periodontist and Orthodontist)

People who cover Yankee Stadium with tarp when it rains

Any job at Google

Outback Steakhouse General Manager

Girls hired to faint at Frank Sinatra concerts in the 1940’s

Cat behavior consultant

IMAX screen cleaner

Accountant

Chicken sexer

Human statue

Academy Awards seat filler

Solar panel installer

Sesame Street puppeteer

Junior High School principal

Any principal

Anyone working with children or people of any age

Elvis impersonator

HVAC Technician

Amazon delivery person who uses their own car

Manager of a Babysitter’s Club

Intimacy coordinator

Mark Zuckerberg

Gastroenterologist

Head of potatoes

Dice quality inspector

Holmes or Watson

Chief Fun Officer

Galactic Viceroy of Research Excellence

Joey Chestnut

Owner and operator of a chocolate factory

Anyone who helped get Jurassic Park up and running

Historian who specifically studies presidential war crimes

My job

Your job

---

Jobs Where It Is

An exterminator whom after several attempts to get rid of a particularly invasive infestation, the most challenging of their career, finally pulls out all the stops, brings in every dust, gel, spray, fog, insecticide and insect growth regulator in their arsenal of tools and even then, this comment is a little weird and extreme and over the top and you may consider taking your business elsewhere moving forward.

President of the United States