Questions and Comments from Dr. Seuss Characters’ Therapists

So when exactly did you start hearing these voices, Horton?”

“I know it can be challenging to be named ‘Thing,’ and live in the shadow of your slightly older brother. But look at the bright side, Mr. Two: At least you’re not a middle child.”

“Can I just call you Sam? And as we begin our journey into the roots of your OCD, I have to ask that you refrain from bringing your breakfast to my office.”

“You’ve come a long way in accepting that being a blue fish doesn’t mean you’re destined for a life of depression.”

“Yes, I know you speak for the trees, Mr. Lorax. But when will you start speaking up for yourself?”

“Marco, I think it’s time to come to terms with what you really saw on Mulberry Street — and why it landed you in the witness protection program.”

“Well, let me put that key question to you, Mr. Cat: What would YOU do if your mother asked YOU?”

“You don’t have to read so much into every Fellini-esque circus dream, Morris. Sometimes a one-nozzled noozer is just a one-nozzled noozer.”

“Yes, perhaps you’ve had a breakthrough. But in my professional opinion, a lifetime of anger issues doesn’t suddenly dissipate with one Christmas morning epiphany.”

“I don’t want to feed your persistent feelings of alienation, but our time is up for today. Marvin K. Mooney, will you please go now!”

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Jere Hester

Jere Hester is a veteran journalist taking a shot at producing some (intentionally) funny stories. https://www.instagram.com/jerehester/

• Questions and Comments from Dr. Seuss Characters’ Therapists