Amelia Cardone – Weekly Humorist

About Amelia Cardone

My name is Amelia Cardone and I'm a comedy writer living in NYC. I've been writing comedy since 2018, and love writing in a variety of mediums. I started writing, producing, and acting for sketch comedy during my college years in a sketch group called "7th Grade Sketch Comedy." After graduation, I went on to work at Comedy Central on their Creative Marketing team, writing and producing promotional content for the network. Now I work at Paramount+ as a Media Manager, but continue to write outside of work. I love to produce, write and collaborate on Pilot and Spec sitcom scripts, and write humor articles in my free time. http://www.ameliacardone.com/

Entries by Amelia Cardone

Which Vape Flavors Are the Cardinals Using for Smoke Signals this Conclave?

May 9, 2025/in Originals/by Amelia Cardone

On top of voting in a new Pope, the Cardinals have another very difficult and important decision to make– what vape flavors they will be blowing up the Holy Conclave Chimney. The debate over which vape flavors to pick for the smoke signals can create a highly strained environment in the Sistine Chapel, as the cardinals can pick only TWO flavors for every Conclave. Only two?

She Cut Me Off! A Eulogy Written by My Old Nose, After My Nose Job.

April 27, 2025/in Notes, Originals/by Amelia Cardone

As I lay on the cold, unforgiving surface of a surgeon’s dish, I reminisce on my life. Twenty two years. Twenty two YEARS I gave to that ungrateful hussy. I gave her smell, I gave her beauty, I gave her three sinus infections a year- give give give! That’s all I ever did for her. I gave. And what does she give me in gratitude to my services? She gives me the KNIFE! Cuts me off, like some toe wart.