https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/bidet-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-03-17 14:07:562023-03-17 14:07:56Newest Additions To The Cultural Lexicon
Newest Additions To The Cultural Lexicon
The Accidental Bidet: When the commode accidentally flushes while you're still seated, coating your private area with soiled toilet water. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/StPatsFacts-feat.png 330 432 Nat Hrvatin https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Nat Hrvatin2023-03-16 18:24:272023-03-16 18:24:27Little Known Facts About St. Patrick’s Day
Little Known Facts About St. Patrick’s Day
Large cities like Chicago dye their river green each year to blend in any vomit spewed by people who’ve been drinking since 10 AM. Every time a drunk man stumbles, a leprechaun gets its wings. Corned beef and cabbage exist only on this holiday. Any leftover corned beef and cabbage will turn into a honey-glazed Easter ham at the stroke of midnight. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/hashtag-gamecard-RobotARockBand-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-03-15 14:10:452023-03-15 14:10:45#RobotARockBand
R2U2, HAL and Oats, Stone Temple Autopilots, and more #RobotARockBand on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/stpats-feat.png 330 432 Jennie Egerdie https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Jennie Egerdie2023-03-15 08:39:382023-03-15 00:26:02I’m Saint Patrick and I’m Back to Fix America’s #1 Problem: Snakes
I’m Saint Patrick and I’m Back to Fix America’s #1 Problem: Snakes
May I remind you, the Second Amendment protects your right to Bear Arms, not snakes. Americans can still have as many Bear Arms as they want.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/ron-fdancing-feat.png 330 432 Chris Eno McMahon https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Chris Eno McMahon2023-03-14 16:22:202023-03-14 16:22:20Ron DeSantis Never Gave Lap Dances And Eight Other Newly Discovered Examples of the Mandela Effect
Ron DeSantis Never Gave Lap Dances And Eight Other Newly Discovered Examples of the Mandela Effect
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis first rose to fame as a founding member of the Chippendales erotic dance group. But it didn’t really happen. DeSantis never actually thrilled women in any capacity. The above is a classic example of the Mandela Effect. That’s when thousands of people “remember” something that didn’t exist, like Curious George having a tail, or King Henry VIII holding a turkey leg. Are these mass misconceptions a coincidence, or are people tapping into an awareness of an alternate reality? Read on for more examples of this bizarre phenomenon.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/ordering-french-feat.png 330 432 Laura Berlinsky-Schine https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Laura Berlinsky-Schine2023-03-14 14:19:442023-03-14 14:19:44I'm Speaking to the Server at This Portuguese Restaurant in French, Goddamnit
I'm Speaking to the Server at This Portuguese Restaurant in French, Goddamnit
I’m back from my study abroad in France, everyone.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Glummer-spoof-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-03-10 14:47:382023-03-10 14:47:38GLUMMER Magazine
It Could Be Worse / No, It Couldn't: The Art Of Negative Thinking, Being The Perfect Moody Beauty, Ann Taylor ZoLOFT, and more in this issue of GLUMMER Magazine!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/LinkedInDating-feat.png 330 432 Erin Ross https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Erin Ross2023-03-09 18:33:362023-03-09 18:33:36Introducing: LinkedIn Dating
Introducing: LinkedIn Dating
Once you’ve selected your top candidate, you may make them an offer and negotiate start date*, and benefits package. Additionally if you are just looking for a one night stand, try I’mEasyApply to fast track filling the position. Happy recruiting!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/hashtag-gamecard-FuriousFastFood-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-03-08 20:47:112023-03-08 20:47:11#FuriousFastFood
Crappy Meal, Murder King, SmackDonalds, and more #FuriousFastFood on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/playlist-feat.png 330 432 AJ DiCosimo https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png AJ DiCosimo2023-03-08 19:56:152023-03-08 19:56:15Conversations I’ve Had With My Playlist
Conversations I’ve Had With My Playlist
Undone - The Sweater Song - Weezer: If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away. Me: GOD, NO! It’s gorgeous.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/wisdom-teeth-feat.png 330 432 Emily Kling https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Kling2023-03-07 13:31:472023-03-07 13:31:47Alternative Names For Wisdom Teeth
Alternative Names For Wisdom Teeth
Prudent Molars, Insightful Incisors, Astute Fangs, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/egg-bake-feat.png 330 432 Bobbie Armstrong https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Bobbie Armstrong2023-03-07 12:49:012023-03-07 12:49:01I’m an Egg Bake, and You Peasants Need To Stop Calling Me an Omelet
I’m an Egg Bake, and You Peasants Need To Stop Calling Me an Omelet
We are not the same. We are both made with a combination of eggs, perhaps a splash of milk, a variety of vegetables, sometimes a sprinkle of ham, and if you’re disgusting, more bacon than eggs. But that’s where the similarities end.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/WeedDonkey-feat.png 330 432 Caleb Coy https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Caleb Coy2023-03-02 11:25:042023-03-02 11:25:04Movies In the Cocaine Bear Cinematic Universe
Movies In the Cocaine Bear Cinematic Universe
Alcohol Walrus, Weed Donkey, Ether Bunny, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/bullshit-feat.png 330 432 John Ficarra https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png John Ficarra2023-03-02 10:23:312023-03-02 10:23:31The Bullshit Artist
The Bullshit Artist
George Santos, as we know, is also an international film star, he and his co-star Kitara Ravache, are up for an Oscar in the new film, The Bullshit Artist'! It's remarkable, with his animal charity work, elected office, and work as a eyewear model, that he finds the time to do it all! Fingers crossed!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/StudentLoan-Bills-feat.png 330 432 Madeline Goetz https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Madeline Goetz2023-03-01 18:41:512023-03-01 20:27:28Student Loan Acceptance: A Solution Brought to You By the Grand Old Party
Student Loan Acceptance: A Solution Brought to You By the Grand Old Party
Allow us, your humble allies in this pursuit of equality, to present a couple steps, also known as the Five Stages of Grief, to help you navigate and ultimately accept the overwhelming heartache that comes with knowing 19% of all your paychecks will be forfeit to your student loans as long as you draw breath.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/hashtag-gamecard-SmellySciFi-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-03-01 18:01:122023-03-01 18:01:12#SmellySciFi
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind, R2-PU, Dr. Who Farted? and more #SmellySciFi on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/HBO-shows-full-feat.png 330 432 Michelle Cohn https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Michelle Cohn2023-02-28 19:48:542023-02-28 19:50:35HBO Highlights Its Very Original, Very Unique Content
HBO Highlights Its Very Original, Very Unique Content
Rich People Being Absolute Lunatics, Iconic Show From The 90’s, Epic Fantasy Show That Costs A Trillion Dollars, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/gug-penguin-feat.png 330 432 Emily Menez https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Menez2023-02-28 19:38:462023-02-28 22:00:17Items in My House Ranked by How Quickly They Slid Down the Guggenheim Ramp
Items in My House Ranked by How Quickly They Slid Down the Guggenheim Ramp
Ceramic Penguin Wearing A Top Hat: This little guy is a survivor. He rolled past the increasingly suspicious security guards before bouncing off some lady’s shoe, flying past Picasso’s Woman with Yellow Hair and landing in the back of a stroller. He rode the descent in style with the penguin tipping his hat at me.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/news-dialup-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-02-24 14:34:162023-02-24 14:34:16News Briefs: Dating Site For Seniors Stymied By Dial-Up Connection
News Briefs: Dating Site For Seniors Stymied By Dial-Up Connection
Plus: Man Hides Liquor Bottle In Same Place He Used To Hide Ex-Wife’s Christmas Presents, Woman Being Baptized In River Should Have Worn A Bra, Lunch Fast Food Bag Placed In Back Seat Of Car To Make Room For Dinner Fast Food Bag.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/hashtag-gamecard-BoozyBoardGames-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-02-23 19:44:442023-02-23 19:44:44#BoozyBoardGames
Tabooze, Connect Pour, Guess Who got drunk, and more #BoozyBoardGames on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/SpilledMilk-feat-1.png 330 432 Rochelle Elana Fisher https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rochelle Elana Fisher2023-02-22 08:09:572023-02-22 00:59:06We at the EPA Assure You This Liquid Is Only a Little Spilled Milk and It’s Nothing to Cry Over
We at the EPA Assure You This Liquid Is Only a Little Spilled Milk and It’s Nothing to Cry Over
We’d love to hand out some cash and stick around for the cleanup, but unfortunately, we only cover large natural disasters and not a little milk spillage.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/bad-aunt-feat-1.png 330 432 Tracy McArdle Brady https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Tracy McArdle Brady2023-02-21 22:51:122023-02-21 22:51:1221 Voting Groups Now Vying for the Position Formerly Held By Soccer Moms
21 Voting Groups Now Vying for the Position Formerly Held By Soccer Moms
Badminton Aunts, Pinball Wizards, Pickleball Playing Bros, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/LadyLib-finger-feat.png 330 432 Adam Dietz https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Adam Dietz2023-02-21 17:03:322023-02-21 21:40:321-Star Reviews of Major United States Landmarks
1-Star Reviews of Major United States Landmarks
The Statue of Liberty: Didn’t move as much as in the Ghostbusters film. In fact, it barely moved at all. I stared at it the whole time I was there and it hardly moved. If it did, it was really slight. 1 star. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/theater-feat.png 330 432 Zach Raffio https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Zach Raffio2023-02-21 16:02:372023-02-22 09:39:29At This Performance of “Hairspray”, the Role of Wilbur Turnblad Will Be Played by You, Get Up There
At This Performance of “Hairspray”, the Role of Wilbur Turnblad Will Be Played by You, Get Up There
We are fully aware that YOU Are an AUDIENCE MEMBER Who came here with no intention of playing WILBUR TURNBLAD But like I Mentioned, it’s what our call sheet says...
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Wendy-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-02-17 12:34:282023-02-17 12:34:28Wendy's Daily Planner
Wendy's Daily Planner
5:30 AM- Delete several dozen dick pics from Burger King. 6:15 AM- Spend 45 minutes getting these fucking pigtails just fucking right. 5:30 PM- Yet more bullying texts from the ghost of my Dad pretending to be Grimace. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/pres-docs-feat-1.png 330 432 William Vaillancourt https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png William Vaillancourt2023-02-17 12:25:432023-02-17 17:09:52What Other Ex-Presidents & VPs Did With Classified Documents
What Other Ex-Presidents & VPs Did With Classified Documents
Aaron Burr: Scribbled furiously over every “Hamilton”, Jimmy Carter: Recycled, Dick Cheney: Turned into wallpaper for secret underground mountainside soundproof bunker. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/hashtag-gamecard-SexyRockBands-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-02-15 18:58:422023-02-15 18:58:42#SexyRockBands
Kink 182, Buns n Roses, Nippleback, and more #SexyRockBands on this week’s trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Hawk-feat.png 330 432 Rich Taylor https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rich Taylor2023-02-15 18:15:542023-02-15 18:15:54The Forgotten Tragedy of the Night President Lincoln Died by the Ghost of Actor Harry Hawk
The Forgotten Tragedy of the Night President Lincoln Died by the Ghost of Actor Harry Hawk
Alone on the stage midway through Act III, I deliver the line of lines. You know it well. Say it with me: "Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal; you sockdologizing old man-trap!" I know, I can scarcely pen the words such does my body quake with laughter. They just don’t write them like that anymore, do they? I knew that moment would punch my ticket to New York and superstardom. So, naturally, I nail the line, slaying my rapturous audience (perhaps not the finest turn of phrase given the circumstances, but paper and ink are not cheap so onward) when the shot rings out from the president’s box. As you can imagine, the distraction pretty much stopped the show flow like an Edison phonograph scratch.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Valentines-nails-feat.png 330 432 Viktoria Shulevich https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Viktoria Shulevich2023-02-14 12:43:132023-02-14 12:43:13Exciting New Nail Polish Colors for Spending Your Valentine’s Day Home Alone!
Exciting New Nail Polish Colors for Spending Your Valentine’s Day Home Alone!
Bold Red Alone in Bed with Snacks and “Jane Eyre” on Netflix, the Michael Fassbender One, Berry Naughty Thoughts About Michael Fassbender, Sexy Fishnet Stalkings of Michael Fassbender’s Full Frontal Pics Online, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/valentine-feat.png 330 432 Amy Greenlee https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Amy Greenlee2023-02-14 11:50:122023-02-14 11:50:12Valentine’s Day Messages, as Dictated by My Kindergartner, Prior to My Suggested Edits
Valentine’s Day Messages, as Dictated by My Kindergartner, Prior to My Suggested Edits
"Cameron. I hope you don't get sent to the cool down zone on Valentine's Day, because then you will miss the Valentine's Party." "Henry. You are so funny with your tiny little smile." And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/bets-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-02-10 15:29:402023-02-10 20:18:50Your New Favorite Super Bowl Betting Apps!
Your New Favorite Super Bowl Betting Apps!
OCD OTB: Allows the user to compulsively check the status of the bet several times per minute. You can also improve the chances of your bet coming in by unplugging your television seventeen times, or counting the number of ceiling tiles twice before the game goes to commercial.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Catalog-mens-feat-1.png 330 432 Walt Maguire https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Walt Maguire2023-02-09 18:21:432023-02-09 22:10:30Start Enjoying This Catalog You Think You’re Too Young To Get
Start Enjoying This Catalog You Think You’re Too Young To Get
Sure, you can put on your Clash and your Bush and your Kate Bush, but playing them on vinyl doesn’t make you young and wired. It makes you old enough to have the original albums before CDs were invented. Let’s talk tweed.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/hashtag-gamecard-CrassCoffee-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-02-08 18:47:272023-02-08 18:47:27#CrassCoffee
Asspresso, Dickaffeinated, Chock Full O Butts, and more #CrassCoffee on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/cat-wedding-day-feat.png 330 432 Rochelle Elana Fisher https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rochelle Elana Fisher2023-02-08 18:19:292023-02-08 18:19:29I Want a Refund on This Wedding Photography Package Because All You Did Was Focus on Cats
I Want a Refund on This Wedding Photography Package Because All You Did Was Focus on Cats
I have seven nieces and only one of them’s in a photo. But even in that one, her face is hidden behind a manx wearing a large felt hat like Meghan Markle. Couldn’t you have moved her? Also, couldn’t you have focused on my bridesmaids in their fabulous dresses and not kittens in ill-fitting cummerbunds?
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/snailmail-feat.png 330 432 Kelley Greene https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kelley Greene2023-02-07 18:37:412023-02-07 18:37:41Better Ways to Lay Off Employees Than Locking Them Out of Their Email
Better Ways to Lay Off Employees Than Locking Them Out of Their Email
Snail mail, delivered by an actual snail, Elaborate scroll inside the Cryptex from The Da Vinci Code, Inception, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/ChurchofLate-feat.png 330 432 Bobbie Armstrong https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Bobbie Armstrong2023-02-07 18:34:022023-02-07 18:34:02The Church of Jesus Christ of Saints Who Are Always Running Late
The Church of Jesus Christ of Saints Who Are Always Running Late
“Have ye inquired of the Lord? He was supposed to be here two millennia ago.” - 1 Nephi 15:8
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/ufo-upduction-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-02-02 17:51:262023-02-02 17:51:26Truly Terrible Signs That You Were Abducted By Aliens And Then Mindwiped
Truly Terrible Signs That You Were Abducted By Aliens And Then Mindwiped
Large portions of the Bible no longer make very much sense. Rebel flag in the front yard is now hot pink and purple rather than red and blue. VHS tape of Legally Blonde 2 obviously watched but not rewound. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Layoffs-Hell-feat.png 330 432 Connor Adams https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Connor Adams2023-02-02 17:32:212023-02-02 17:32:21Satan Announcing Layoffs In Hell
Satan Announcing Layoffs In Hell
For those we are letting go, we will be offering generous severance packages including the souls of 10,000 babies and a gift card to Spencers Gifts, the official retail partner of hell.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/hashtag-gamecard-SadScents-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-02-01 20:01:212023-02-01 20:01:21#SadScents
Ewwwwcalyptus, Dumpkin Spice, Poor Pourri, and more #SadScents on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Doggie-feat.png 330 432 Claire Zahm https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Claire Zahm2023-02-01 17:34:332023-02-01 17:34:33For Fail-Safe Security, Hire Me, a Four-Pound Chihuahua
For Fail-Safe Security, Hire Me, a Four-Pound Chihuahua
I may be small, but I am no toy. My 3.2 pounds of rippling muscle are built around a heart that races at 180 bpm for the sole purpose of protection. The urge to defend courses through every ounce of my one ounce of purebred blood. I’m genetically obligated to be an absolute dick to everyone but you.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/woman-showing-big-red-hashtag-symbol-smartphone-camera-sharing-viral-content-tagged-message.png 330 432 Caleb Coy https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Caleb Coy2023-01-31 14:47:292023-01-31 14:47:29As a Content Creator, The Most Rewarding Part of My Job is Calling Myself a Content Creator
As a Content Creator, The Most Rewarding Part of My Job is Calling Myself a Content Creator
See those contents on that computer screen? I put some of that in there. I'm a maker of #mediastuff. You could call me a #mediacontributor, basically. Sometimes I just fill boxes with words for the sake of it. Gotta meet that word count.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Dry-Camel-Jan-feat.png 330 432 Emily Kapp https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Kapp2023-01-31 11:29:292023-01-31 11:29:29A Camel Explains Why You Can’t Handle Dry January Like They Can
A Camel Explains Why You Can’t Handle Dry January Like They Can
They’re not cut out for the No-2-O lifestyle that animals like me are built for so for them to make a whole month's challenge out of our lifestyle. Well, that’s just par for the course for these idiots that give mammals a bad name.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/NewsBriefs-Dog-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-01-27 15:10:502023-01-27 17:35:50News Briefs: Lost Dog Found At Home Of Nicer Family
News Briefs: Lost Dog Found At Home Of Nicer Family
Plus: Stupid Lemonade Stand Doesn't Have Wi-Fi, Cabbage Enthusiasts Flip The Fuck Out Over National Cabbage Day, Mom Excited About Knowing Mother Of Hostess At Chili's.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Recipes-20s-feat.png 330 432 Justin Kaplan https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Justin Kaplan2023-01-26 17:36:062023-01-26 17:36:06Life Recipes for Late Twentysomethings
Life Recipes for Late Twentysomethings
Day-Long Hangover: Wake up cold, confused, and filled with regret. Leave ample time to rise. Add water consistently–too much at once will oversaturate. Infuse Excedrin in between painful realizations you can no longer drink without consequence. Whisk two McGriddles into your mouth while prone on your couch. Remember you have to work tomorrow.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/hashtag-gamecard-FartyDatingApps-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-01-25 19:01:082023-01-25 19:01:08#FartyDatingApps
Crappn, Farters Only, EwwwHarmony, and more #FartyDatingApps on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Birthday-Netflix-feat.png 330 432 Chris Manson https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Chris Manson2023-01-25 16:55:492023-01-25 16:55:49This Year, I Did Something Special for Your Birthday
This Year, I Did Something Special for Your Birthday
I made a documentary about you with your family and friends. Oh, the documentary turned out so well that Netflix acquired the streaming rights.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/lovitz-feat.png 330 432 Paul Lander https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Paul Lander2023-01-24 18:54:082023-01-24 18:54:08Quiz: Jon Lovitz as SNL character Tommy Flannigan or Congressman George Santos
Quiz: Jon Lovitz as SNL character Tommy Flannigan or Congressman George Santos
Married to Morgan Fairchild, Played Third Base for KC Royals in the World Series, Star of Baruch College volleyball team, President of Pathological Liars Association. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/BrooklinenDate-feat.png 330 432 Madeline Goetz https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Madeline Goetz2023-01-24 18:17:402023-01-29 13:43:26Sex With Me, Sponsored By Brooklinen
Sex With Me, Sponsored By Brooklinen
Wow, that was great! You know what they say about seven minutes in heaven: you can do it in four. Let me just throw this condom away. And speaking of away, Away Luggage is quickly becoming the most trusted suitcase brand from young professionals on the go. Not saying you have to go! You can totally stay the night if you want.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Dog-training-feat.png 330 432 Madeline Goetz https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Madeline Goetz2023-01-19 18:11:472023-01-19 19:54:53Dog Training for Cowards
Dog Training for Cowards
Sit and Stay: Ask your dog nicely to sit. If he doesn’t do it, nervously look around to see if anyone noticed him disobeying you. If there’s no one around, pretend you never actually asked him to sit. You will learn to gaslight yourself like this. Similarly, if you ask your dog to stay and he continues to lunge or wander, you must turn it around on yourself. You stay. Stay and wonder why no one ever listens to your requests.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/pregame-40-full-feat.png 330 432 Viktoria Shulevich https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Viktoria Shulevich2023-01-19 15:53:522023-01-19 16:06:40A Guide to Pregaming in Your 40s
A Guide to Pregaming in Your 40s
EVENT: A concert that starts at 10 pm for no good reason PREGAMING: Crashing on the couch for a 20-minute snooze then inserting Dr. Scholl's insoles into your sensible boots
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/hashtag-gamecard-PervertedPasta-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-01-18 18:50:312023-01-18 18:50:31#PervertedPasta
Beef Strokin' Off, Macaronly Fans, Hard-onara, and more #PervertedPasta on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/vampire-rapper-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-01-18 18:13:162023-01-18 18:13:16Lesser Known TV Content Warnings
Lesser Known TV Content Warnings
Mild drug use, bloody scenes of horror, graphic language, rapping vampires. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/preschool-money-feat.png 330 432 Kate Chrisman https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kate Chrisman2023-01-17 17:07:562023-01-17 17:12:01Honest Preschool Descriptions
Honest Preschool Descriptions
We charge to put you on a pretend wait list. Our vacation schedule will never overlap with the local elementary school - that’s a promise. Your kid will get lice.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/eatingbobbyflay-feat.png 330 432 Bobbie Armstrong https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Bobbie Armstrong2023-01-17 16:18:332023-01-17 16:18:33An Apology From the Food Network for Mistaking ”Beat Bobby Flay” as ”Eat Bobby Flay”
An Apology From the Food Network for Mistaking ”Beat Bobby Flay” as ”Eat Bobby Flay”
At the Food Network, we pride ourselves on producing shows that showcase and explore the rich culinary world and most importantly, educating and entertaining our viewers. However, “exploring the rich culinary world” does not include hunting down our own hosts. We truly cannot believe this happened a second time.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/platboy-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-01-13 14:20:342023-01-13 15:43:49Plateboy Magazine
Coleslaw In The Raw, Open Wide for Open Faced Sandwiches, Grub Hubba Hubba! And more in this issue of Plateboy Magazine!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/King-feat.png 330 432 Brian Boone https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Brian Boone2023-01-12 15:57:402023-01-12 15:57:40Notable Author Cameos in the Film Adaptations of Their Books
Notable Author Cameos in the Film Adaptations of Their Books
'Misery', 'Pet Semetary', 'Christine', 'The Running Man', 'The Shawshank Redemption'...In every adaptation of one of his books, Stephen King’s smiling face is visible in the lower left corner of the screen at all times.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/hashtag-gamecard-DrunkSitcoms-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-01-11 18:36:192023-01-11 18:36:19#DrunkSitcoms
Brooklyn Wine Wine, S*M*A*S*H*E*D, According to Gin, and more #DrunkSitcoms on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Santos-nose-feat.png 330 432 Ben Bynum https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Ben Bynum2023-01-11 17:45:452023-01-11 17:45:45Letter of Apology from George Santos
Letter of Apology from George Santos
Did I make a few fibs about my income along the way? Maybe. It’s not entirely my fault, though. There was that thing at Maya Angelou’s annual solstice party when I thought Sting had asked me, “Are you South American?” To which I answered, “Brazilian”. But what he actually said was, “How much money did you make in 2008?”, and he thought I said, “A bazillion”. An honest mistake, and I realized later but didn’t want to correct him. I mean, it’s Sting.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/TJMAXX-feat.png 330 432 Anne Skove https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Anne Skove2023-01-10 20:37:292023-01-10 20:37:29Welcome to the Many Seasons of TJ Maxx!
Welcome to the Many Seasons of TJ Maxx!
February: love is in the air. It's also in your kitchen, bathroom, and foyer. March: more leprechauns than you will ever need. April: same as March, only with rabbits. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/blazer-feat.png 330 432 Alanna Weissman https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Alanna Weissman2023-01-10 19:43:202023-01-11 21:20:39Every Human on Earth Looks at Least 30% More Attractive in a Blazer
Every Human on Earth Looks at Least 30% More Attractive in a Blazer
Not sold on the Blazer Theory? Try picturing every one of your exes. Now, picture them wearing blazers. If you’re still not convinced, repeat the experiment, but replace your exes with your least favorite politicians, or the zombies from The Walking Dead...
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/BillyJoel-feat.png 330 432 Jeff Bender https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Jeff Bender2023-01-05 16:29:232023-01-05 16:29:23Common Wisdom Infused with Billy Joel
Common Wisdom Infused with Billy Joel
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on Billy Joel." "Is it better to have Joeled and lost than never to have Joeled at all?" "Close, but no Billy Joel." And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Vador-Stripclub-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2023-01-05 14:46:212023-01-05 14:46:21Lesser Known Characters From The Star Wars Universe
Lesser Known Characters From The Star Wars Universe
Nanneth Korv: Exotic dancer at the Death Star's gentlemen's club, The Emperor Says "No Clothes!". Frozen in carbonite for causing Darth Vader to suffer messy embarrassment during a lap dance.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/hashtag-gamecard-Slutty80sMovies-feat.png 429 694 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2023-01-04 15:15:272023-01-04 15:15:27#Slutty80sMovies
The Lust Boys, The Princess Ride, When Harry Wet Sally, and more #Slutty80sMovies on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/MyPrideandMyPrejudice-feat.png 330 432 Madeline Goetz https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Madeline Goetz2023-01-04 14:39:292023-01-10 00:49:47Free Titles For Your Right-Wing Memoir
Free Titles For Your Right-Wing Memoir
'Cancel Cancel Culture: Canceling Cancelation', 'Me First and You Maybe', 'My Pride and My Prejudice', and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/ART_20221224-223355-feat.png 330 432 Bob Eckstein https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Bob Eckstein2023-01-03 14:01:022023-01-03 14:01:02Top 20 Predictions For 2023 by Nostradamus’ Cousin Barney
Top 20 Predictions For 2023 by Nostradamus’ Cousin Barney
Laura Ingram promises she will no longer brake for babies or kittens. Snoop Dogg will become Speaker of the House. Lincoln Center is converted into pickleball courts. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Oil-fashion-feat.png 330 432 Jason Bentsman https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Jason Bentsman2023-01-03 13:42:022023-01-03 13:42:02New From Sephora: Motor Oil
New From Sephora: Motor Oil
From Sephora: The maker of Blackcurrant Oil, Argan Oil, Rose Hip Seed Oil, Marula Oil, and Dilo Oil, comes: Motor Oil - Just drizzle a dime-size amount on your palm, put on your finger, and rub under the eyes in a circular motion. Watch as the sulfur antioxidants slowly exfoliate your delicate features.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Trump-predictions-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-12-30 17:02:512023-01-01 14:58:03Clairvoyant Trump's 2023 Predictions
Clairvoyant Trump's 2023 Predictions
January 6th will become America's most popular new national holiday, during which wealthy citizens recreate the attack on the Capital by barging into the homes of the less affluent and taking whatever the hell they want. My collection of Trump NFTs will become so popular that they will be traded as the new dominant form of US currency. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/countdown-feat.png 330 432 Paul Lander https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Paul Lander2022-12-29 15:44:002023-01-02 20:43:57Top Ten Top Ten Numbers of 2022
Top Ten Top Ten Numbers of 2022
Tough choices this year, so many deserving but only so many spots!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Viking-gym-feat.png 330 432 Max Mitrani https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Max Mitrani2022-12-29 13:08:552023-01-01 14:07:16Our Gym Would Like to Apologize for Yesterday’s “Train Like A Viking Of Skagafjörður” Workout
Our Gym Would Like to Apologize for Yesterday’s “Train Like A Viking Of Skagafjörður” Workout
It has come to our attention that yesterday’s WoD (workout of the day), The Skagafjörður Viking 9000, has received universal criticism from those in attendance. In an anonymous survey sent earlier today, more than one member mentioned the class caused “explosive head trauma,”“neverending nightmares,” and “plantar fasciitis.”
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/hashtag-gamecard-2022in4words-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-12-28 18:28:192022-12-28 18:28:19#2022in4words
Staying’ Alive, Staying’ Alive, Supreme Court Vs America, I want a refund, and more #2022in4words on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/God-Resolutions-feat-1.png 330 432 Luke Strathmann https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Luke Strathmann2022-12-28 17:48:432022-12-28 21:54:20God's New Year's Resolutions
God's New Year's Resolutions
Finally Fill In Grand Canyon, New Rule That Not All Dogs Go To Heaven, Find Therapist That Doesn't Accuse You Of God Complex, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Jim-Carrey-Smelly-feat.png 330 432 Brian Boone https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Brian Boone2022-12-27 18:36:522022-12-27 18:36:52Only ‘90s Kids Will Remember All These Great Catchphrases from the Best Jim Carrey Movies
Only ‘90s Kids Will Remember All These Great Catchphrases from the Best Jim Carrey Movies
“Talk about a series of unfortunate events…in my pants!” A Series of Unfortunate Events, "Does this cable smell like farts to you?" The Cable Guy, “I didn’t fart, JK LOL I did!” Liar Liar, and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Beaver-head-feat.png 330 432 Kelley Greene https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kelley Greene2022-12-27 17:39:352023-01-01 14:07:4310 New Year’s Resolutions Jason Definitely Wants Me to Keep This Year
10 New Year’s Resolutions Jason Definitely Wants Me to Keep This Year
I will sign up for an advanced crochet class to keep my hands busy during Jason’s softball practice (which is every Tuesday and Thursday). I will go to the gym, but only the one where the local softball team, the Beavers, work out. I will not let my past failures to become Jason’s girlfriend define me. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/car-carols-feat.png 330 432 Sarah Layden https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Sarah Layden2022-12-22 16:48:362022-12-22 16:48:36Christmas Song Lyrics that Go Hard to Sell You a New or Preowned Vehicle
Christmas Song Lyrics that Go Hard to Sell You a New or Preowned Vehicle
“We need a little Christmas right this very minute,” and you need a rebuilt aftermarket Hyundai Sonata in your driveway ASAP. A giant red velvet bow will cover most of the hail damage. (Bow sold separately.)
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/mommy-kissing-bunny-feat.png 330 432 Lee Blevins https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Lee Blevins2022-12-22 16:17:182022-12-22 16:17:18I Saw Mommy Kissing the Easter Bunny (But So Did Santa Claus, Unfortunately)
I Saw Mommy Kissing the Easter Bunny (But So Did Santa Claus, Unfortunately)
You shouldn't judge my mother. She was a single mom working a full-time job and raising two small children. Of course, she found it difficult to date men who weren't put off or intimidated by the fact that she had kids. Perhaps it's only natural that she gravitated towards quasi-mythical holiday gift-bearing immortal figures like Santa Claus. He wasn't afraid of children, not in the least. We were the only reason he came around in the first place. That and the cookies.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/hashtag-gamecard-HellishHolidayMovies-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-12-21 15:38:162022-12-21 15:38:16#HellishHolidayMovies
A Christmas Gory, Funeral Home Alone, The Satan Clause, and more #HellishHolidayMovies on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/gaslighting-menorah-feat-1.png 330 432 Emily Kling https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Kling2022-12-21 14:25:582022-12-21 14:25:58How to Tell if You’re Lighting the Menorah or Gaslighting the Jewish People
How to Tell if You’re Lighting the Menorah or Gaslighting the Jewish People
If you’re hanging out with Jewish friends around sundown during the week of Hanukkah, and you say something like ‘the history of Jewish suffering is overrated,” you’re both lighting and gaslighting.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/MrsClaus-night-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-12-20 17:33:572022-12-20 17:33:57Mrs. Claus' Dec 24th To Do (While Santa Is Away) List
Mrs. Claus' Dec 24th To Do (While Santa Is Away) List
Place Frosty's magic hat onto life-sized cardboard cut-out of Brad Pitt, hope for the best. Hose out Santa's "Naughty Dungeon". Deep down, he's a good man; we all have our vices. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Doug-Angel-feat.png 330 432 Craig Thomas https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Craig Thomas2022-12-20 16:09:122022-12-20 16:09:12Wing Man
After more than a century of trying, I was finally an Angel/First Class…ironically. Yes, my Wings were gained via sarcasm. So technically, I have two glowing, glorious Wings growing out of my back now. But they might as well be two glowing, glorious Asterisks.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Gift-list-feat.png 330 432 Bobbie Armstrong https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Bobbie Armstrong2022-12-15 14:39:142022-12-15 14:39:14A Senator’s Holiday Gift Guide For His Secret Girlfriend
A Senator’s Holiday Gift Guide For His Secret Girlfriend
Following her back on Instagram from your official government account. Breaking it off with your second slightly more secret girlfriend. A dog. She needs emotional support from somewhere. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Mall-Santa-feat.png 330 432 Emily Kapp https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Kapp2022-12-15 13:41:542022-12-15 13:41:54Power Ranking The Best and Worst Mall Santa Laps For My Children
Power Ranking The Best and Worst Mall Santa Laps For My Children
#3 McKinley Mall: There was something off about this mall Santa but I couldn’t put my finger on it. So I placed my two cheeks on his lifeless lap and from that second I knew: this mall Santa was dead. Yep, a corpse dressed up in a Santa suit. It’s pretty unclear whether he died on the job or they had a hard time filling the role this Christmas season.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/hashtag-gamecard-CrappyChristmasCarols-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-12-14 16:34:222022-12-14 16:34:22#CrappyChristmasCarols
All I want for Christmas is Poo, Doo you hear what I hear?, Jingle Smells, and more #CrappyChristmasCarols on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/HBOMAX-feat.png 330 432 Amy Currul https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Amy Currul2022-12-14 13:50:062023-01-02 14:58:25We At HBOMax Have Decided To Cancel Earth
We At HBOMax Have Decided To Cancel Earth
We here at HBO Max are proud to be home to some of your previously favorite now cancelled programs such as Love Life, Minx, and the first season of Westworld. And like all of our cancelled programs, Earth will be wiped off of all platforms, anything where its existence could be recorded or remembered.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/doodles-feat.png 330 432 Lynn Hsu https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Lynn Hsu2022-12-13 17:10:452023-01-01 14:58:29Financial Terms, According To My Teenager
Financial Terms, According To My Teenager
Gross Margin: Penis doodles along the edges of your Great Expectations book. Margin Call: The phone call your parent receives after the teacher spots your Gross Margin. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Judi-Cat-feat.png 330 432 Alex Griffiths https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Alex Griffiths2022-12-13 16:20:582022-12-13 16:20:58The Secrets Behind Your Favorite Movie SFX
The Secrets Behind Your Favorite Movie SFX
The cats in “Cats”: Without a doubt, the greatest ordeal of my whole career. They always say to never work with children, animals or Dame Judi Dench, and I wish to God I had listened. We could have simply used special effects to depict the titular felines, but Dame Judi had other ideas. Striving for authenticity, she ate only tuna throughout the shoot, pooped in a box and licked herself clean each morning.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/hashtag-gamecard-MoldyMovies-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-12-07 16:32:002022-12-07 16:32:00#MoldyMovies
No Country for Mold Men, Girls Just Want to Have Fungus, Bacteria to the Future, and more #MoldyMovies on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Briggs-GOT-feat.png 330 432 K.E. Flann https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png K.E. Flann2022-12-07 16:21:402022-12-13 17:14:38NEW Game of Thrones! Except Instead of the 7 Kingdoms, It’s the 16 Myers-Brigg’s Types
NEW Game of Thrones! Except Instead of the 7 Kingdoms, It’s the 16 Myers-Brigg’s Types
Using the proven science of personality, a “kingdom reorganization plan” reallocates our favorite players into highly productive, autonomous units. Alliances are based on each character’s Jungian temperament, not on antiquated notions of bloodline or geography. A literal game-changer!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Yukon-areosmith-feat.png 330 432 Nolan Yard https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Nolan Yard2022-12-07 16:14:252022-12-13 17:14:27I'm Yukon Cornelius, Aerosmith's Original Front Man
I'm Yukon Cornelius, Aerosmith's Original Front Man
Being a Gemini, I’ve always been torn between being the center of attention and isolating myself in the stark abandoned wilderness. Truth be told, though I’ve found myself center stage in front of large crowds, my heart has always longed for silence and solitude.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/FoodWhine-spoof-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-12-07 14:58:522022-12-13 17:12:59FOOD & WHINE Magazine: Captured by the Holidays Issue
FOOD & WHINE Magazine: Captured by the Holidays Issue
The 12 Days of Crisis, Holding A Fudge Grudge, Drunk Uncle Or Eccentric Relative: How Large Is The Will? and more in Food & Whine Magazine: Captured by the Holidays Issue!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Grinch-podcast-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-12-06 18:16:472022-12-06 18:16:47TRANSCRIPT: The Official Country Crock Podcast w/ guest The Grinch
TRANSCRIPT: The Official Country Crock Podcast w/ guest The Grinch
The Official Country Crock Podcast, which typically limits it's topics of discussion to their line of buttery spreads, for unknown reasons spent a recent portion of their show interviewing The Grinch. Below is the transcript of that talk.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Krampus-full-2-feat.png 330 432 Jenn Knott https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Jenn Knott2022-12-06 17:10:142022-12-06 17:10:14More Terrifying German Monsters Who are Not Krampus for the Other Holidays
More Terrifying German Monsters Who are Not Krampus for the Other Holidays
The Krampus, the goat-like German Christmas demon, is responsible for spreading a festive mix of anxious joy and existential terror every year on December 6th when he comes to punish the naughty children. But once the Christmas season is past, who takes over the hallowed task of striking warmth and dread into the hearts of people, throughout the year?
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/NewsBrief-slumber-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-12-02 17:26:492022-12-02 18:44:35NEWS BRIEFS: Dad Accidentally Streaks Slumber Party
NEWS BRIEFS: Dad Accidentally Streaks Slumber Party
Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Wine-Apocolyspe-feat.png 330 432 Warren Benedetto https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Warren Benedetto2022-12-01 17:51:222023-01-01 14:08:32Wine List For The Apocalypse, Courtesy Of Your Olive Garden Sommelier
Wine List For The Apocalypse, Courtesy Of Your Olive Garden Sommelier
Let’s start with our splendid assortment of reds. First, we have our Merlot: soft and medium-bodied, with dark fruit flavors and the smoky undertones of a scorched planet littered with human carrion. You may also detect subtle hints of tree bark and shoe leather, which pairs nicely with chicken, veal, and any meat desperately gnawed from the desiccated corpses of household pets.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/hashtag-gamecard-SteamyCelebs-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-11-30 15:19:282022-11-30 15:19:28#SteamyCelebs
Jennifer Love Dew-it, Jean Claude Van Damp, Judith Drenched, and more #SteamyCelebs on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/bob-job-feat.png 330 432 Emily Menez https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Menez2022-11-30 14:52:292023-01-01 14:08:49We at the Bob Committee Are Here to Diversify Your Company
We at the Bob Committee Are Here to Diversify Your Company
Finding a replacement CEO can be stressful. For every million dollar salary and annual incentive-based award of $25 million, there are very few candidates who are right for the job. It’s a challenge we at the Bob Committee know well. From Bob I. to Bob C. back to Bob I., we are here to help diversify your company with white men over 60 named Bob.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/bear-dating-feat.png 330 432 Torrey Kurtzner https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Torrey Kurtzner2022-11-29 20:20:242023-01-01 14:09:10So You Want to Date a Teddy Bear: Ranking Teddy Bears by their Sensibility, Dependability, and F#ckability
So You Want to Date a Teddy Bear: Ranking Teddy Bears by their Sensibility, Dependability, and F#ckability
Pooh is a thiccc ass bear with plenty of cushion for the pushin’. Though a giving partner, he’s not without his kinks, such as a preference to use honey as a substitute for over-the-counter lubrication.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/roman-gym-full-final-feat.png 330 432 McKayley Gourley https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png McKayley Gourley2022-11-29 19:34:162022-11-29 19:34:16What I Assume the Ancient Romans Did for Exercise
What I Assume the Ancient Romans Did for Exercise
In general, fighting to the death was a great way to stay in shape. Not dying was so good for your mental and emotional health. Almost dying was very bad. You walk a thin line with death-fighting. But that’s why recovery was invented! Stretching, amputation, et cetera.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/BlackMagikFriday-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-11-25 15:44:522022-11-25 15:55:33Black Magic Friday's Best Deals, Steals & Spells!!!
Black Magic Friday's Best Deals, Steals & Spells!!!
Sell your soul before 12/31/22 and receive a free glow-in-the-dark Mariah Carey fanny pack. All inverted cross actually prepared as inverted, and not just normal crosses that we turned upside down. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Thanks-Drinks-feat.png 330 432 Tracy McArdle Brady https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Tracy McArdle Brady2022-11-24 02:45:072022-11-24 02:45:079 Classic Cocktails for Dreaded Family Gatherings
9 Classic Cocktails for Dreaded Family Gatherings
Old Fashioned Passive Aggressive Barb: Served by your mother-in-law, this multi-layered concoction includes everything from your parenting choices to the fact you use avocado based mayonnaise and returned a shower gift nine years ago. Top with a maraschino cherry, unless that’s “not organic” enough for you.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/hashtag-gamecard-HorribleHolidaySides-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-11-23 14:06:292022-11-23 14:06:29#HorribleHolidaySides
Pornbread, Sweat Potatoes, Pee-can Pie, and more #HorribleHolidaySides on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/teacher-smile-feat.png 330 432 Sarah Garfinkel https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Sarah Garfinkel2022-11-23 13:12:302022-11-23 13:12:30"Don't Smile Until Thanksgiving" and Other Tips for New Teachers
"Don't Smile Until Thanksgiving" and Other Tips for New Teachers
To earn your kindergarten students’ respect, start the year off strict and smile-free. Your students might test your anti-smiling resolve prior to Thanksgiving by saying cute things like, “You’re my best fwend” or “I wuv you.” Do not break. If students catch you smiling before Thanksgiving, they will probably assume you are a professional clown.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/quiet-fifa-feat.png 330 432 Alex Cowell https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Alex Cowell2022-11-22 15:00:172022-11-22 15:00:17Get Ready for the Biggest International Party Where None of Your Favorite Ways to Celebrate Are Legal
Get Ready for the Biggest International Party Where None of Your Favorite Ways to Celebrate Are Legal
Hello football lovers and partygoers from all over the world! We're so excited to welcome you to Qatar for the 2022 FIFA World Cup, the biggest party on the planet. Who’s ready to cheer their hearts out?! Woooo! But not so loud please. Public displays of fun will definitely land you in a jail cell, as will the many other ways you typically like to party.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/mad-turkey-feat.png 330 432 Emily Kapp https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Kapp2022-11-22 14:15:172022-11-22 14:15:17The Final Diary Entries From the Turkey That The President Did Not Pardon
The Final Diary Entries From the Turkey That The President Did Not Pardon
Just as I begin to feel at peace with my impending death, I think about the turkey that the president is pardoning tomorrow. It isn’t fair. I don’t even know who it is yet, but it isn’t fair. If it’s Marvin and his ball sack-looking ass neck I’m gonna scream.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/garage-smoke-feat.png 330 432 Jonathan Bines https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Jonathan Bines2022-11-18 13:26:172023-01-01 21:50:09Our Family Faces Many Challenges Inside This Closed Garage
Our Family Faces Many Challenges Inside This Closed Garage
OK, honey, we get it. You’re saying that the issue of the rising CO1 levels in our closed garage is very important to you. And we appreciate that you’re passionate about it. Try to remember that everyone in this minivan has issues that we care about and think are very important. They can’t all be first, so let’s take them one at a time, OK, sweet pea? Good.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/NewNationalDays-feat-1.png 330 432 Connor Adams https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Connor Adams2022-11-17 17:32:002023-01-01 14:10:17New Proposed National Holidays
New Proposed National Holidays
National Amelia Earhart Day: A day where we can all just disappear and not have to do anything, a great tribute! Everyone could use a break.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/hashtag-gamecard-AchyActionMovies-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-11-16 20:22:262022-11-16 20:22:26#AchyActionMovies
The Sore Identity, Robotusssin Cop, The Last Traction Hero, and more #AchyActionMovies on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/doctor-feat.png 330 432 Ernio Hernandez https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Ernio Hernandez2022-11-16 19:48:462023-01-01 14:09:55Things Not To Ask Your Doctor About
Things Not To Ask Your Doctor About
P.E. ( Pasta Elbow) P.A.B ( Passive Aggressive Breathing while sleeping) and more things to not ask your doctor about.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Twitter-Returns-feat.png 330 432 Julien Perez https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Julien Perez2022-11-15 18:43:192023-01-01 14:10:07Twitter.com's Exchanges & Returns
Twitter.com's Exchanges & Returns
Before you publicly announce your intention to purchase this long standing social media site please be sure of the following: Log onto Twitter and ask yourself, "Do I want this?" I mean it. Open Twitter and actually say out loud, "Do I want to be the owner of this nightmare?"
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Flex-feat.png 330 432 Robert Criss https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Robert Criss2022-11-15 16:34:032022-11-15 16:34:03Fight Or Flight Or Flex
Fight Or Flight Or Flex
You’re walking along and you see a house engulfed in flames. Fight: You immediately run into the house and rescue the family trapped inside. Flight: You get out of the way, giving firefighters space to rescue the family trapped inside. Flex: You rip your shirt off and flex really hard at the house fire with the family trapped inside.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/cancelled-street-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-11-10 17:27:052022-11-10 17:30:46Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get Away From Cancelled Street? Sesame Street Characters Apology Tour
Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get Away From Cancelled Street? Sesame Street Characters Apology Tour
Pyramid schemes, missing underpants, Fraggle centipedes, and a big nest on Epstein's island, put these well loved Muppets in hot water.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/trump-mechanic-feat.png 330 432 Bobbie Armstrong https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Bobbie Armstrong2022-11-10 13:50:342022-11-10 13:50:34As the Mechanic Who Changed Your Tires, if the Car Goes 100 Mph I’ll Take All the Credit, but if the Wheels Fall Off You Can’t Blame Me
As the Mechanic Who Changed Your Tires, if the Car Goes 100 Mph I’ll Take All the Credit, but if the Wheels Fall Off You Can’t Blame Me
I’m not saying the wheels are going to fly off your car, but I’m also not saying that. You can’t blame me that Jimmy’s mom Susan came in wearing a new blouse from Kohl’s and I got a little distracted. She just got out of the hospital last week. Looking real fine for 97.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/colon-box-feat.png 330 432 Laura Gaddis https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Laura Gaddis2022-11-09 18:21:162022-11-17 00:47:02I’m the Cologuard Box, and I Can Diagnose your Personality Disorder
I’m the Cologuard Box, and I Can Diagnose your Personality Disorder
Who takes a cute little box with a face and limbs and rips him open to insert poop? I’ll tell you who–people with problems. Which is why I’m now equipped to tell you what’s wrong with your personality. And believe me, there is something wrong with you. You’re pooping in a box.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/FhIfepWWYAELeIX.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-11-09 16:42:592022-11-09 16:42:59#CowAComicBook
Dairydevil, Moo Knight, Aquamanure, and more #CowAComicBook on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/i-voted-feat.png 330 432 Emily Kapp https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Emily Kapp2022-11-08 12:59:152022-11-08 13:39:04How To Tell People You Voted Other Than An “I Voted” Sticker
How To Tell People You Voted Other Than An “I Voted” Sticker
Have sex. When you get to climax two minutes in, moan “I Voted!” Go to Starbucks and order your usual Pumpkin Spice Latte. When the barista asks for your name, say it’s “I Voted.” Post the photo of your cup, which says “Ivory Ted.” Get a real tattoo in your tramp stamp area that says “I Voted” And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/campaign-text-feat.png 330 432 Rochelle Elana Fisher https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rochelle Elana Fisher2022-11-07 19:41:582023-01-01 22:20:43I’m Bombarding You With Texts Before Election Day So You’ll Definitely Vote for Me
I’m Bombarding You With Texts Before Election Day So You’ll Definitely Vote for Me
9:32 AM — Hi! I’m your state’s Republican candidate for Governor. I got your number from some voter registry list. Can I count on your support this Election Day? I’m texting you because I don’t trust the polls and figure if I slide into your phone without consent, you’ll definitely vote for me. 9:33 AM —If you want to opt out of these messages reply “STOP” and I’ll continue sending them to you.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Money-saving-feat.png 330 432 Noel Leon https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Noel Leon2022-11-04 15:12:282022-11-04 15:12:28Looming Threat of a Recession? Here's 8 Surefire Money Saving Tips!
Looming Threat of a Recession? Here's 8 Surefire Money Saving Tips!
Make Showering Dates: What better way to get to know that causal Facebook acquaintance or neighbor than to ask to use their shower? One look into their bathroom cabinet and you’ll find everything you need to know about them (even painfully intimate details). And, not only will you save on your water bill by racking up theirs, you’ll increasing your lifespan! Studies show people with more social connections live longer!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/uncle-jon-feat.png 330 432 Jonathan Zeller https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Jonathan Zeller2022-11-03 19:57:072023-01-01 14:12:12I Am Happy with My Choice to Remain Childless. Also, Call Me “Uncle Jon.” You Must Care for Me When I Am Old.
I Am Happy with My Choice to Remain Childless. Also, Call Me “Uncle Jon.” You Must Care for Me When I Am Old.
Your purpose isn’t to please your parents. It’s to find your own bliss, whether that comes from bar trivia, travel to destinations that allow you to bring your dog, or covering my rent once I’m too old to work but haven’t amassed a large enough 401(k) to last through retirement.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Ye-meeting-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-11-03 19:33:352023-01-01 14:55:32Transcript From The Recent Emergency Meeting Of The Multiversal Council Of Kanyes
Transcript From The Recent Emergency Meeting Of The Multiversal Council Of Kanyes
Kanye Earth 27- I call to order this emergency meeting of the multiversal Council Of Kanyes. Very sorry about the last minute notice, but I'm sure that we can all agree that things are getting out of control quickly. Kanye Earth XND- Jesus Florglatz, what has he done now?
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/hashtag-gamecard-RevoltingRockBands-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-11-02 17:45:542022-11-02 17:45:54#RevoltingRockBands
Death Scab For Cutie, R.E. Phlegm, Gangrene Day, and more #RevoltingRockBands on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/royal-feat.png 330 432 Rachel Deutsch https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rachel Deutsch2022-11-01 18:53:062022-11-01 18:53:06Introducing The Royal Court of Anxiety
Introducing The Royal Court of Anxiety
Oh dear. I am the queen mother of my daughter hasn’t texted back today and I think it’s probably botulism. And more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/tell-tale-joint-feat.png 330 432 Caroline Beuley https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Caroline Beuley2022-11-01 17:53:382022-11-01 17:53:38The Tell-Tale Joint
The Tell-Tale Joint
I was awoken from my slumbers by a knock at the door! I leapt out of bed in shock! A knock at the door at this hour? But - I looked at the floorboards, surveyed my room, sniffed the air. What had I to fear? I had carried it all off so perfectly. With a renewed confidence, I opened the door. My parents stood in the threshold.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/OnlyFansgoria-cover-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-10-28 17:47:312022-10-28 17:47:31OnlyFansgoria
Frankenstein's Monster Exclusive Pantsless Twitch is Shocking! Plus, Best BBW- The Blob, Best Hot Body Waxing: The Werewolf, Best Who Definitely Love To Swallow- Zombies. Check out the best creators on the platform in OnlyFansgoria today!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/spoinled-feat.png 330 432 Gabriel Thibodeau https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Gabriel Thibodeau2022-10-27 18:43:482023-01-01 14:13:59Spoiled: A Visual Diary of Compromised Groceries
Spoiled: A Visual Diary of Compromised Groceries
I left my fridge cracked open all night. Please do not judge me. It was very much an accident and I very much need your help. In our current apocalypse, I can’t afford to throw out anything unnecessarily. After all, groceries are gold, and we will soon be forced to use soft cheeses and gluten free English muffins to barter with Bezo-Muskians for safe passage off Earth! Is it spoiled?
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/santan-worship-bad-feat.png 330 432 James Marino https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png James Marino2022-10-27 18:23:482023-01-01 14:14:11Don’t Say You Worship Satan If It’s Only on Halloween
Don’t Say You Worship Satan If It’s Only on Halloween
Also, what are you wearing? Which part of “black robe” was too complicated? Did you really walk into our lightless abode of the damned dressed as Hellboy? And don’t even get me started with the slutty witch costumes. Why tempt our dread master Lucifer’s wrath by baring your cleavage at him? I think he’s made it abundantly clear he’s an ass man.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/hashtag-gamecard-MoneyAMonster-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-10-26 18:19:212022-10-26 18:19:21#MoneyAMonster
Creature From The Bank Lagoon, Michael Buyers, Accountant Dracula, and more #MoneyAMonster on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/pumpkinhead-feat.png 330 432 Tim Cahill https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Tim Cahill2022-10-26 17:52:302023-01-01 14:14:22'So Your Fiancée Woke Up with a Pumpkin Head, Now What?'
'So Your Fiancée Woke Up with a Pumpkin Head, Now What?'
Now that there’s a huge pumpkin head walking around your house - meals are going to be a little trickier than normal. If however you eat all of your meals alone while hiding in a closet then please, skip this step. Food is going to be a problem because your lover has no way of eating it - she just has three goofy teeth and no jaw motion whatsoever.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/SpookyHigh-feat.png 330 432 Brian Boone https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Brian Boone2022-10-25 17:04:182023-01-01 14:14:39Spooky High is Closing
Spooky High is Closing
For more than 200 years, Spooky High has been the preeminent educational facility in this area for young monsters, supernatural entities, and horrifying creatures, all seeking to learn in a safe environment free from the persecutions and distractions of the mainstream world. Our alumni are world-renowned, including the Frankenstein creation, six generations of Blobs, all seven Mummy siblings, and a real zombie who was in the “Thriller” video.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Q-nostardamous-full-feat.png 330 432 Kit Lively https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kit Lively2022-10-21 14:33:192022-10-21 17:09:24Kit Quickie- QAnyms: QAnon Acronyms
Kit Quickie- QAnyms: QAnon Acronyms
Queasily Affirms Nostradamus’ Own Nightmares, Quashing America’s Nicely Organized Nation, and a couple more.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/veggie-candy-feat.png 330 432 Kelley Greene https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Kelley Greene2022-10-21 13:43:362022-10-21 13:43:36Vegetable-Inspired Halloween Candy No One Wants
Vegetable-Inspired Halloween Candy No One Wants
Jolly Radishes, Sour Patch Kales, York Bell Peppermint Patties, M&Ms (Mushrooms & Mushrooms) and more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/sexy-nurse-party-feat.png 300 432 Viktoria Shulevich https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Viktoria Shulevich2022-10-20 19:23:312022-10-20 19:23:31I’m Sorry for Wearing a Sexy Nurse Costume to Your Event But It’s Kinda Your Fault for Having It Close to Halloween
I’m Sorry for Wearing a Sexy Nurse Costume to Your Event But It’s Kinda Your Fault for Having It Close to Halloween
I’m sorry I invited 10 random people to your private family and friends shindig and told them it was going to be a rager. I’m sorry they showed up.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/hashtag-gamecard-KillerCandies-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-10-20 02:24:002022-10-20 02:24:00#KillerCandies
Kill Kat, Milky Slay, Scar burst, and more #KillerCandies on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/horror-quitting-feat.png 330 432 Carrie Pinkard https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Carrie Pinkard2022-10-18 20:29:322022-10-18 20:29:32Horror Movie Villains Explain Why They’re Quiet Quitting
Horror Movie Villains Explain Why They’re Quiet Quitting
Pennywise: I really want to reclaim some time for myself. Maybe go back to clown college. Being a shape-shifting manifestation of children’s nightmares can be so draining. I’m tired of watching my victims float around all day while I do all the work. I've finally realized it's MY turn to float down a lazy river sipping a mocktail while clocking in some well-deserved PTO (Pennywise Time Off).
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/chem-smart-feat.png 330 432 Rochelle Elana Fisher https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rochelle Elana Fisher2022-10-18 18:53:282023-01-01 14:15:10We Aren’t Coddling Our Gen Z Students, but They Think Your Class Is Too Hard, so You’re Fired
We Aren’t Coddling Our Gen Z Students, but They Think Your Class Is Too Hard, so You’re Fired
The University takes the success of our students very seriously. Especially the success of students who grew up getting trophies for losing. Now, we’ve gotten word that many students are distressed over the difficulty of your Organic Chemistry course. So do you mind handing in your Faculty ID? We simply can’t have you failing students who don’t deserve to pass.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Dahmer-feat.png 330 432 Paul Lander https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Paul Lander2022-10-14 14:56:562022-10-14 14:56:56Rejected Netflix Dahmer Series Promotional Materials
Rejected Netflix Dahmer Series Promotional Materials
If You Can Read This, Jeffrey Dahmer Didn't Eat Your Eyeballs bumper sticker. Dahmer's vegetarian surprise recipe (made totally from a vegetarian). And sadly, more!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Halloween-Ends-feat.png 330 432 Matt Rotman https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Matt Rotman2022-10-13 17:12:352022-10-13 17:12:35REVIEW: Halloween Ends
REVIEW: Halloween Ends
I take no pleasure in dogging Halloween Ends. I’m literally its target audience. Regardless of quality, there are very few slasher films I don’t enjoy, including the worst of the Halloween sequels! Unfortunately, this movie spent too much time in a room with its own farts and forgot it was even supposed to be a slasher movie.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/myers-stalker-feat.png 330 432 William Vaillancourt https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png William Vaillancourt2022-10-13 17:06:352023-01-01 14:15:48I, Michael Myers, Want a Restraining Order Against Laurie Strode
I, Michael Myers, Want a Restraining Order Against Laurie Strode
I’ve been shot, stabbed, lit on fire, poked through the eye with a wire hanger — the list goes on. All have been her doing. Other acts of violence have been outright demeaning as well. Just last year, while a vicious mob had me surrounded in the street, some old lady struck me with, of all things, an iron. Like I’m just one big joke.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/tracksuit-ascot-feat2.png 330 432 Mary Grilli Jacobs https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Mary Grilli Jacobs2022-10-12 18:54:292022-10-13 00:30:21Welcome to Mom’s Night at the Swanky Swill
Welcome to Mom’s Night at the Swanky Swill
It’s our annual Mom’s Night Out here at the Swanky Swill, and have we got a treat for all you fecund females. Surprise! Our mixologist, Klock, has been eavesdropping on your Mommy and Me therapy sessions —I mean classes— for weeks in order to get some real life inspiration for tonight’s libations menu. (Did you really believe that the mustachioed guy at the back of the community center in the jumpsuit and vintage ascot was the janitor? Ha!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/hashtag-gamecard-GhoulishGames-FEAT.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-10-12 17:56:502022-10-12 17:56:50#GhoulishGames
Casketball, Fear Pong, Spooks and Ladders, and more #GhoulishGames on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Unsub-feat-1.png 330 432 Rodney Uhler https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rodney Uhler2022-10-11 20:12:592023-01-01 14:15:34I Will No Longer Unsubscribe
I Will No Longer Unsubscribe
Just for fun, I post my social security number on Reddit. I change all my passwords to “whatever,” and my security questions to Highlights Magazine word-searches. I change my political affiliation to “undecided, seeking suggestions.” I start trials on every streaming service, even fake ones like Paramount+. Like an unsupervised child, I allow any and all cookies. I haven’t cleared my cache in weeks and yet, mentally, I’ve never been clearer. Instead of URL I see “You are loved.”
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/books-stacks-feat.png 330 432 Corey Pajka https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Corey Pajka2022-10-11 20:07:422022-10-11 20:07:42How Not to Come to Terms with Your Unread Books in Twenty-Five Steps
How Not to Come to Terms with Your Unread Books in Twenty-Five Steps
1) Most were purchased at your local independent bookstore. Take pride that you’ve supported a small business during a pandemic. Remind self that store is currently doing fine, and no more books are needed for now. 2) See books you bought Tuesday and Wednesday. Realize you should have written out step one on Monday...
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/tom-brady-office-work-feat.png 330 432 Justine Cotter https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Justine Cotter2022-10-06 12:23:082022-10-06 12:23:08Lesser-Known Quitting Styles
Lesser-Known Quitting Styles
Tom Brady Quitting: You announce your retirement, spend 40 days at home with three kids, and then announce your comeback.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/group-friends-making-big-party-beach-feat.png 330 432 Jonathan Zeller https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Jonathan Zeller2022-10-06 11:31:142023-01-01 14:16:17How to Hold Your Therapist’s Attention
How to Hold Your Therapist’s Attention
Paint a Pretty Picture: Describe the people in your life as more attractive than they are. A good-looking cast begets a good, listening therapist. Vividly detail stunning features, exotic locales, and witty repartee. Consider giving your characters catchphrases. For example: “Now that’s what I call a doughnut, volume cake!” It makes sense in context.
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/hashtag-gamecard-humidhorrormovies-feat.png 330 432 Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Weekly Humorist Hashtag Games2022-10-05 15:27:062022-10-05 15:27:06#HumidHorrorMovies
The Humid Centipede, Sauna of the Dead, Sweat Sematary, and more #HumidHorrorMovies on this week's trending joke game!
https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/RomanDeSantis-feat.png 330 432 Rochelle Elana Fisher https://weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/WH-color-logo-pattern-b.png Rochelle Elana Fisher2022-10-05 14:25:482022-10-05 14:25:48The Republican Emperors Hereby Present You With An Opportunity To Become Esteemed Gladiators
The Republican Emperors Hereby Present You With An Opportunity To Become Esteemed Gladiators
We’re not kidnapping you, and we’re not forcing you to fight against your will. You aren’t pawns in some elaborate game... You are prized gladiator fighters– royalty even! As proof, here’s a gift card to McDonald's, and some armor we’ve crafted out of recycled Diet Coke cans.