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Humorist Podcasts

The Cartoon Pad w/ guest Tom Toro

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From Batches to Book Club: Tom Toro on early grind, classic tropes, and his new collection And to Think We Started as a Book Club.

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Humorist Books

Featuring humor novels, cartoon collections, children’s book parodies, and more!

 
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Greg Maxwell’s Inferno:The Erotic, Judeo-Christian, Modern-Day Odyssey No One Asked For

by Keith James

Hell has come to claim the last mortal universe. A bleeding tower has burst through the 24-Hour Fitness parking lot. Demons circle the city of San Diego. One name is called to challenge Lucifer’s Champion: Greg Maxwell.

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Lyssa Strata: A Comedy for the Frustrated 

by Martti Nelson

A small-town librarian finds her voice and kicks some misogynist butt in the process. Inspired by the classical Greek comedy, Lysistrata, librarian Lyssa Strata has long begged the Town Council of Athena, Massachusetts to repeal its disgusting, old, misogynist, and racist laws, but the Council, an all-male entity for 400 years, has blown her off as a redheaded spinster—who, according to a 1673 law, should legally be run out of town at the end of a musket upon a poor fiscal year. When Lyssa seeks to invade the male bastion as the first woman ever on the Council, the men in charge treat her candidacy as a hilarious joke; that is, until Lyssa leads the women of the town on a sex strike.

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The Witch Demands a Retraction: Fairy Tale Reboots for Adults

by Melissa Balmain (Author), Ron Barrett (Illustrator)

Pinocchio Runs for Office, The Peeved Piper, Not So Snow White and so many more in this twisted collection of adult fairy tales!

This hilarious collection of poems by Melissa Balmain puts a grown-up, contemporary spin on the stories and characters we all learned as children, from Little Red Riding Hood, to the Three Bears, the Pied Piper, and Cinderella; each delightfully depicted in full-color by Ron Barrett, (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) one of the best and award winning illustrators in the business.

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Seven Easy Steps To Go To Hell

by Brandon Hicks

What you see is not always the whole picture, as you’ll learn on your journey to HELL!

Occupying the lowest rung on the demonic corporate ladder, Beezle, Buzzle, and Barb have the unenviable task of ensuring enough souls are going to Hell. Using their patented Seven Deadly Sins™ method, the trio explains how you can get yourself a one-way ticket.

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The # * % < ! + & Year in Review

by Ron Hauge

From Emmy® Award winner Ron Hauge (The Simpsons, Seinfeld, The Ren & Stimpy Show, In Living Color) comes ‘The # * % < ! + & Year In Review', a retrospective collection of single-panel, full-color cartoons selected from his popular Instagram account. The year 2020 will not soon be forgotten, but perhaps we can gain a little perspective with these biting, often outrageous illustrations lampooning Trump, the pandemic, social unrest, the whole mess. BUY NOW 

The Elements of Stress and the Pursuit of Happy-ish in this Current Sh*tstorm

by Bob Eckstein & Michael Shaw

THE ELEMENTS OF STRESS and the Pursuit of Happy-ish in this Current Sh*tstorm is a humorous handbook to help readers better deal with the challenges and headaches of our times, from overeating, to love problems, money woes, global warming, night sweats, winter itch, general anxiety, and so much more. Plus, over 70 stress-defusing cartoons from two of the best gag cartoonists

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Dumb Jokes For Smart Folks

by Jessica Delfino

Dumb Jokes For Smart Folks delivers a grown-up spin on the quintessential children’s joke book. Chock-full of silly wordplay and looney leaps in logic, this collection touches on a variety of topics and themes, from the great outdoors, to celebrities, outer space, and recreational cannabis. Perfect for readers who wish to reconnect with their inner-child or anyone who enjoys a good guffaw- or groan-worthy joke.

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A Gaslight in the Attic

by Matt Lassen

A Gaslight in the Attic is an expert satire of the Donald Trump presidency written from the perspective of the man himself! The book parodies the Shel Silverstein classic “A Light in the Attic” with original poems chronicling Trumpisms, his lies and contradictions and the classic “look this way so you don’t see that” gaslighting at its best! The over 70 hilarious original poems include original Shel Silverstein-esque pen and ink illustrations to enjoy along with it!

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A Gaslight in the Attic

by Matt Lassen

A Gaslight in the Attic is an expert satire of the Donald Trump presidency written from the perspective of the man himself! The book parodies the Shel Silverstein classic “A Light in the Attic” with original poems chronicling Trumpisms, his lies and contradictions and the classic “look this way so you don’t see that” gaslighting at its best! The over 70 hilarious original poems include original Shel Silverstein-esque pen and ink illustrations to enjoy along with it!

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From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts

by Michael Bleicher & Andy Newton

From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts dives into the contradictory, divided, and all-too-often unsettling state of the union. Like Huck Finn meets Game Change, the novel examines the politicians and popular figures who played starring roles in 2016 and holds up a mirror to the electorate that ultimately made Trumpism possible.

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How Amusing

Read what all the fuss is about…

Michael Shaw

CARTOON: Color Commentary

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Spectrum of Complaints. Today’s cartoon by Michael Shaw.

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Anne Yeager

Thank You for Attending America. The Event Has Concluded

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Effective immediately, the following are no longer required: Patriotic outfits, Opinions about the founding fathers expressed at family gatherings, The song “Proud to Be an American,” unless you are at a sporting event, in which case it is still mandatory and you know why

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Mike Todasco

I Am Resigning as Senior Safety Coordinator Because, Somehow, the Ewoks Got Torches

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I have long supported Endor Vendors’ mission of “creating morale-boosting events across mixed-species groups at galactic scale.” But after what I witnessed last night at the Battle of Endor Victory Party, I must resign.

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Kenny Reilly

As a Long-Time Drinker of The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool Water, Everyone Needs To Relax

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As a long-time drinker of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, I think everyone needs to calm down. I appreciate President Trump’s decisions to add a new flavor. It’s still as good, if not better, as it has ever been.

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J.K. Radomski

I Replaced My $185,000 Audio System with a Fisher-Price Record Player and I Can No Longer Go Back

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*Row, Row, Row Your Boat* reveals subtleties I’d assumed decades of elitist equipment had simply been hiding from me. The famous “merrily, merrily” passage doesn’t just play. It floats free of the groove entirely, which for a song about a boat feels like the correct decision.

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R.D. Rosen

The World Cup Questions Most on Americans’ Minds This Week

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Q: Surely, they can design more protective shoes and shin and ankle guards that would prevent, or at least mitigate, this melodrama without obscuring the illegal contact that prompts the referee’s whistle. A: You would think. Anyway, only two times a match is a player carried off on a stretcher to attempt to lend credibility to his professed injury. Given the relentless TV close-ups of player’s grimacing and agonized expressions, there is talk of changing FIFA’s logo to a stylized image of Edvard Munch’s The Scream.

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Emily Bednarova

Six Signs You’d Make a Great Vampire

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You are honestly incapable of waking up early in the morning — Have you been fired from multiple jobs for not being able to make it to 9 a.m. meetings? Has your own brother called you “lazy” “good for nothing” and “completely fucking worthless” more times than you can count? As a vampire, you’re supposed to sleep all day. Take that, Keith!

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Candy Schulman

America 250 is Overshadowing My Birthday

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Even though my actual birthday is July 6th, I always have my fête on July 4th, when my friends are free to attend. This year, I’m enraged that my ritual celebration is on the same day as America 250’s Block Party. I deserve something bigger and better. 

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Anne Yeager

Official Statement from the AI That Interviewed You

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After carefully analyzing your facial expressions, vocal inflection, blinking frequency, internet bandwidth, confidence level, probable cholesterol, and the emotional significance of the houseplant visible over your left shoulder, we are pleased to inform you that we remain unable to determine whether you are a human being.

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Bobbie Armstrong

What New Yorkers Are Standing In Line For This Summer

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Ice Spice x Vanilla Ice x Ice Cube x Ice-T for the launch of Poppi’s new prebiotic progenetic iced coffee that’s going to be warm by the time you get the front of this damn line.

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Michael Laser

What Some Famous Operas Might Be About

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Rigoletto: I suspect this is about some sort of pasta.

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J.K. Radomski

So, There’s This Thing Called Soccer Happening

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For millions of Americans, this represents their first real exposure to soccer, or as the rest of the world insists on calling it, football, because they have never seen real football. They also call it “the beautiful game”, which is something people say about things that are not always beautiful, like childbirth or a fistfight in an Applebee’s parking lot.

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Bryan Lyng

Cost Saving Tips for Budget-Conscious Trillionaires

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True, a trillion dollars can still cover many of your daily expenses. But a single global depression could knock your net worth down to say, $850 billion. Sending you diving into your kitchen’s coupon drawer for 50% off and BOGO offers.

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Andy Schocket

Read the Transcript: The Skipper Storms out of an Interview with Mary Ann when Challenged over False Claims

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SKIPPER: People have been hurt so badly by radical left lunatics that worked for the Howell administration.  They’re vicious. They raided my hut, took my coconuts, and all the other things. They’ve lost everything over a fake weaponization of government. 

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I’m The Dollar Bill from Sarah Paulson’s Met Gala Outfit and I Am Not the Enemy

I’m not even worth the paper I am printed on (which is particularly true given that, in this outfit, I am made of fine, hand-woven silk). The lowly one-dollar bill should not have to shoulder the symbolism of late-stage capitalism and the evils it supports. I’m practically worthless these days.
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Wrestle-Maniac

Ping-Pong Table Match: Like a table match, only it’s a table tennis and they have to keep the ball in play while smashing each other with tables.
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Famous Poems Reworked Into Advertising Copy 

“All that is gold does not glitter” by J.R.R. Tolkien:  All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Visit your local Ace Hardware for unbeatable costs.
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Toy Story’s Sid Phillips – Cover Letter to Dream Job ICE 

I have 11 years experience with torture, including hostile military combatants, such as blowing up a Combat Carl with an M-80. I am ready to use that same explosive energy to grab immigrants and protestors off the street. 
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Power Rankings: The Top Ten Non-Alcoholic Beverages of my Lifetime (1977 – Present)

10) Hi-C Ecto Cooler Boxed Drink, 1987: A neon green, Ghostbusters promotional drink. The envy of elementary school cafeteria classmates the world over and quite possibly the cause of at least eleven chronic diseases later in life. A fair trade in my humble opinion.
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An Oral History of Your Mom

Your mom’s reputation is known far and wide. So this Mother’s Day, we’ve gathered her fondest admirers to extol her historic virtues.
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Hot Chicken Gelato

I attempted what my best friend, Blake, called a “risk event.” Some people would call this a ‘Life  Pivot.’ Others, specifically law enforcement and lawyers and junk, would call it a bank robbery.  
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Mother’s Day Cards for the Infertile

Hey girl, Let's not make a baby and instead travel the world and eat pasta? And more!
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Quotes By J. D. Vance About Mothers Throughout History

Mama Mia: “All that sexual promiscuity, and she only bore one child. What a waste.”
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She Cut Me Off! A Eulogy Written by My Old Nose, After My Nose Job.

As I lay on the cold, unforgiving surface of a surgeon’s dish, I reminisce on my life. Twenty two years. Twenty two YEARS I gave to that ungrateful hussy. I gave her smell, I gave her beauty, I gave her three sinus infections a year- give give give! That’s all I ever did for her. I gave. And what does she give me in gratitude to my services? She gives me the KNIFE! Cuts me off, like some toe wart.

The Bandwagon vs. The Showboat

And they’re off! The bandwagon and the showboat. A matchup decades in the making, a contest long sought by fans of vehicular sports metaphors. And now it’s here: The Race, presented by Merriam-Webster.

The Funniest At-Home Rules to Turn Every Type of Game into a Comedy Show

 We all love to play games, be it solo or with loved ones - until someone’s arguing over if ixnay is a valid Scrabble word (it is - we checked). But even the best games can benefit from being taken to the next level with some quirky at-home rules. So, if you’re in need of some good laughs, we’ve got you covered with some funny rules that will have you in stitches.

Simple Airbnb Check-Out Instructions From Your Host

We hope you made yourself at home in our humble abode! This is a friendly reminder to be checked out by 9:00 tomorrow morning in order to give our cleaning crew ample time to prepare for the next guests. If you would like to request a later check-out time, feel free to message us at least 24 hours before check-out, though it looks like we are already within that window, so nevermind. 

Your Dog’s Guide To A Safe And Happy Fourth Of July, by Your Dog

Fireworks, right? Ugh. Who needs 'em? Look, I haven't forgotten about the incident with the rug last year, and I know that your mate hasn't allowed you to forget either. No one wants a repeat of that.

An Open Letter To Whoever Is Abandoning Their Used Underwear On The Shower Towel Hook At The Gym

Towel hooks should only be used for towels, not underwear. Think I’m being too vigilant? Consider that you’ve been sweating into your skivvies for long enough that your sweat has overwhelmingly stained the fabric, transforming them into a disgusting Rorshack test. I’m not even sure if, in their current state, we can still refer to them as underwear. No, they’re more like a sweat rag with an elastic waist.

BOOK EXCERPT: Eating Salad Drunk

You can always tell / Who went to Catholic school / They are atheists. —MIKE BIRBIGLIA This and more haikus from comedy greats in the new book 'Eating Salad Drunk' compiled by Gabe Henry with illustrations by Emily Flake!

I Must Regretfully Decline Your Invitation to Beef

My enemies list is highly exclusive and that membership has been closed since you were an ill-considered gleam in your whiskey-addled father’s eye.

Talking’ Bout My Veneration

The whole tragic, last days of Christ had been imprinted on our our little Catholic brains since Kindergarten. Images of that poor, super-skinny dead man, hammered into splintery wood, with prickers on his bleeding head, were so commonplace that, by age eleven, looking at it was about as troubling as looking at a hamburger.
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