Open Letter to Beachgoers: Congratulations on 50 Years of Ignoring Obvious Shark Warnings by Bruce the Shark (Yes, I have a name—it’s Bruce. Look it up.)
You ignore warning flags. You swim at dusk. You boogie board in bait balls. You book snorkeling excursions with people named “Captain Dave” who store raw squid next to the sandwich cooler. Do you want to be an appetizer?