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Here’s Today’s Food Allergy Horoscope

OVARIUS: Breakfast can be hard with an egg aversion. Venus governs the mysterious eighth house of intimacy, due diligence, and rich endeavors. I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but look—It is time to change the rhythm of your life. Just don't bother going out to eat with anyone so you can tell them about it.

Quiz: Did I Cancel These Plans Because I’m A Flake Or Because Mercury Is In Retrograde?

The beach trip to the Rockaways that ended after I texted everyone, “I think it’s going to rain, maybe we should ‘rain check’ hahahaha.” It didn’t rain, but the pun worked well.