Without your approval to be clear, my lack of clarity would require immediate clarification—something I would clearly be unable to provide. You see? The whole thing would be unclear. Is that clear?

Remember back in 2016, where we all jokingly named things we would vote for before we ever cast a vote for Donald Trump? A newly-sentient potato, a painted rock, a sack of dirty hair? Well, now’s our chance to put our money where are mouths are, and support this turd in a box with all the passion we can muster.