It’s our annual Mom’s Night Out here at the Swanky Swill, and have we got a treat for all you fecund females. Surprise! Our mixologist, Klock, has been eavesdropping on your Mommy and Me therapy sessions —I mean classes— for weeks in order to get some real life inspiration for tonight’s libations menu. (Did you really believe that the mustachioed guy at the back of the community center in the jumpsuit and vintage ascot was the janitor? Ha!

This note is not here for his safety; it’s for my sanity. Sure I could come get him, but sometimes it’s nice to have some solo Diane time. Tell him that he should stay out for as long as he wants.

Our heads are still ringing in the new year, or just ringing...where's the Tylenol!? Lots of unregretful fun this week on our Weekly Humorist Hashtag game!