Posts

Hello My So-Called Plant Sitter, Care To Explain These 45 Dead Ferns?

When I left you a voicemail asking if you could watch my ferns, and you never got back to me, I assumed your silence meant you had no questions about the intensive two-week care regimen I’d detailed. Well, apparently you had lots of questions. Given the carnage in the apartment, it’s as if you never listened to my voicemail, and spent the past two weeks in blissful ignorance, never knowing the arduous responsibility I had thrust upon you. 

4 Uses for Your Amazing She Shed That Totally Aren’t Murder

THE POTTING SHE SHED The smell of fresh earth is intoxicating. Not as good as huffing craft glue, but not bad. The earth gives life, and takes death when your enemies shuffle off this mortal coil. With no help from you, of course. Pour all your troubles into a decorative clay pot you adorned with cute birdies, and watch the world melt away. All your troubles. Dirt hides a myriad of sins. Buries them, you might say. The last place they’d think to look is underneath your thriving Pom Pon dahlia bed. Look for what? Ha ha! Nothing but potting soil and a giant set of pruning shears hides in your trusty, padlocked she shed.

Itinerary Of A Plant Dad

11AM — Pia and our cat Lionel are finally getting along. I was getting worried for a moment we’d have to put him down.

Cutting Edge Gardening Tips

Fire-ant mounds do admittedly appear similar to chocolate lava…