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The 2024 University of Phoenix Valedictorian Speech, Presented By Draft Kings

My heart is full today as I look out and see hundreds of familiar usernames. I’m honored to have the opportunity to celebrate this milestone with you all. I am excited for us to leave this Zoom meeting with our heads held high, knowing that we are the next generation of thinkers and doers. 

My Speech to the 2023 Graduates

Congratulations, kindergarteners. And before you go dislocating your shoulders patting each other’s backs, you should know that the real world is more than fingerpaints and snack time. And first grade can be a bitch.

CARTOON: Sad Grad

Trump Delivers Commencement Speech To Liberal Arts College

Hello. Welcome. Can you believe I’m here? Not just as president,…

CARTOON: Grads