Normally, I dip my hot dogs into a big bucket of water so that the buns are thoroughly soaked when I eat them. Today, no buckets. I had to buy a bottle of water. A guy saw me pouring my water out all over my second hot dog and he said “there’s mustard over there, you know.” I don’t know where the dude was from, but literally nobody puts mustard on hot dogs in America. It makes it so much harder to eat. Who has time for that, anyway?