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I’m the Silica Gel Packet in Your Beef Jerky Bag and Actually, Please Eat Me
Ah, I get it. Your gut is too good for me, deserving only the finest dried cow scrotum to complement a thriving colony of microplastics. Sorry that I can’t be caviar, crème brûlée, or the massive cheese block you fiendishly inhaled in bed at 3 AM. I guess there are humans unafraid to expand the frontier of edible exploration and those who suck down Skittles à la Hungry Hungry Hippos.