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Unearthed Time Capsule Reveals Nothing But A Written Explanation By A Procrastinating Time Capsule Committee From 1979

So I know what you’re thinking and yes we did not do our jobs. However, there is a totally reasonable explanation why the capsule is full of nothing but air. On the bright side, that is precious 1979 air! Don’t use it all in one breath. Cherish it! It’s all we’ve got to give.