Tag Archive for: vampire

Count Dracula Is Now on OnlyFangs

Do you like my profile photo? I was going for distinguished and handsome, yet sinister and sexy. Please don’t say I look like Leslie Nielsen in that awful Dracula biopic. Maybe I should get XXL veneers. They look impressive, but I’m afraid they won’t feel natural.

CARTOON: Bite-Sized Vacation

Fangs for the Memories. Today's cartoon by Andy Anderson & Rusty Ruble.

CARTOON: Data Drain

I want to suck...your information. Today's cartoon by Tyson Cole.

Pros and Cons of Becoming a Vampire 

Pro: Will have a reason to start a gang and call ourselves “The Lost Girls.” Con: Will have to keep explaining the connection to the 1987 film “The Lost Boys” featuring Kiefer Sutherland.

Don’t Say You Worship Satan If It’s Only on Halloween

Also, what are you wearing? Which part of “black robe” was too complicated? Did you really walk into our lightless abode of the damned dressed as Hellboy? And don’t even get me started with the slutty witch costumes. Why tempt our dread master Lucifer’s wrath by baring your cleavage at him? I think he’s made it abundantly clear he’s an ass man.

Spooky High is Closing

For more than 200 years, Spooky High has been the preeminent educational facility in this area for young monsters, supernatural entities, and horrifying creatures, all seeking to learn in a safe environment free from the persecutions and distractions of the mainstream world. Our alumni are world-renowned, including the Frankenstein creation, six generations of Blobs, all seven Mummy siblings, and a real zombie who was in the “Thriller” video.

CARTOON: Caffeine Vampire

Think of your REM cycle dear. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.