Wait Time: Until My Phone Died and I Almost Did: Parched and famished on a 90 degree day, you arrive at the newest addition to the 2,000 frozen yogurt places that have opened in the past three months—only to encounter a 3-hour line around ten city blocks. As you watch the winners who reach the front of the line emerge with their prize, you ask how this place ranks among the best. “It’s okay,” they respond.
Even though my actual birthday is July 6th, I always have my fête on July 4th, when my friends are free to attend. This year, I’m enraged that my ritual celebration is on the same day as America 250’s Block Party. I deserve something bigger and better.
No snacks before dinner. Use your words. Stop playing with yourself. And more!
The Provost should have written this online guide, but he’s being tutored by his 9-year-old son learning HTML and Cobra in the likely event that budget cuts will slash our entire IT department. So after sharing some edibles, we are totally unprepared to prepare you.