Chason Gordon – Weekly Humorist

About Chason Gordon

Chason Gordon is a writer whose work has appeared in Slate, Vice, Paste Magazine, and The Globe and Mail, among others. He currently lives in Seattle, but is on a month-to-month lease. You can find less of him on Twitter @chasongordon.

Entries by Chason Gordon

Best of 2023

You’re Probably Wondering Why There’s an Empty Pizza Box in My Trunk

by Chason Gordon
October 10, 2023

I can see that you’re wondering why there’s an empty pizza box in my trunk. That’s perfectly fair. A dead body would have been easier to justify. Car trunks are supposed to house proper car accoutrements like windshield wiper fluid and jumper cables and maybe a recently bought and forgotten blender. That’s respectable trunk fare.

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Yes, My Internet is Also Down

by Chason Gordon
July 10, 2019

I feel so alone right now. The rest of you are just going ahead and working like there’s no problem, like one of your coworkers isn’t totally without internet. You really find out who your friends are when your internet’s down. I feel like a wounded buffalo that the herd is moving away from so I don’t weaken the group.