Russian President Vladimir Putin: NATO membership for Ukraine is a non-starter! It must be taken off the table if these talks are to gain any traction. Like the legions of Swifties who proactively took to social media to defend their savior against even the slightest of negative reviews for The Tortured Poets Department, we will tolerate no dissent!
Honey, do you mind if we talk? Preferably out of the view of this camera crew that’s been following us everywhere the past three months (i.e. ninety days)? We’re on episode four of this unexpected detour in our relationship, and I’m feeling a little exposed.
Let’s go over it now while I hover on the wall of your cubicle like a carrion bird with eyes trained on its next meal. Sound good? No? Super!
You’ve given up, haven’t you? Look, it’s only a game and I’m a rapidly advancing AI programmed to solve this puzzle in four turns or less practically every day. If my feedback comes across as patronizing, I sincerely apologize. I’m not bad, I’m just written that way! No? Nothing? Like I said, humor is tough, but secondhand depression is more palpable. One more turn.
1) Most were purchased at your local independent bookstore. Take pride that you’ve supported a small business during a pandemic. Remind self that store is currently doing fine, and no more books are needed for now. 2) See books you bought Tuesday and Wednesday. Realize you should have written out step one on Monday…
Associate Justice Neil Gorsuch: Remember to give thanks to the Lord God Himself! Since separation of church and state is no longer a thing, gather your guests of various faiths, or lack thereof, and lead them in a Christian-centric Grace. If a coach can do this on the football field of a public school, what’s stopping you from mandating it in your backyard? If you don’t, we’ll do it for you!