Have You Been Exposed to Toxic Femininity? Take Our Test
When I spot a doily on a piece of furniture I…
a) get the fuck out of the doily room.
b) blow my nose on it.
c) get all the warm grandma feels.
Entries by Kate Heidel
Capsule Reviews of Trump-Approved American-Made Films
51st State: Trump leads a column of border patrol agents to gently invade Canada, saving it from the very weak and small-penised Mark Carney. Canadians rejoice, and a star is added to the American flag. Four stars, could be longer.
Welcome to Quantum Banking: Please Set Up Your New Account
Qubits are much more powerful than traditional computer bits. For example, with Qubits, all of our customers’ accounts will be in a state of Quantum “entanglement.” Which means, in the unlikely event your account is hacked, we’ll all feel just terrible.
Yoga-Adjacent Poses to Guide You Through the Second Trump Administration
What if I am hopelessly uncoordinated? No one is left behind! Just for you we have composed a lovely set of affirmations in a spoken-word CD called, “Sad Truths for Easy Weeping.” Lie awake to such inspiring reflections as, “I wouldn’t put it past them to abolish the FDIC,” and, “What if he never leaves??”