Microphone Stand: His Karaoke rendition of “Under Pressure” was showstopping . . . when he twirled the mic stand and it slammed against the head of a drunk girl. The impact set off her latent psychic ability. The Oracle of Delphi was born.
You shouldn’t judge my mother. She was a single mom working a full-time job and raising two small children. Of course, she found it difficult to date men who weren’t put off or intimidated by the fact that she had kids. Perhaps it’s only natural that she gravitated towards quasi-mythical holiday gift-bearing immortal figures like Santa Claus. He wasn’t afraid of children, not in the least. We were the only reason he came around in the first place. That and the cookies.