Posts

In Your Freakin’ Face! I Got Raptured!

Well, this was my revenge plan all along, you dingus! I knew if I kept the faith while you bullied me on earth, I’d get to spend an eternity rubbing it in your face while you got tortured by demons! I’ve always focused way more on the wrath part of Christianity than on the forgiveness part.

Anti-Vaxxer Logic Applied to Your Middle School Years

Remember that time you tried to talk to Angie Driscoll when she was drinking from the water fountain and she choked because you startled her and her friends whisked her away and you just stood there staring at your pants? That’s why your parents got divorced.

(Brian) Asimov's 6 Laws of Robotics

A robot must obey orders given it by human beings, except for Kevin Olmsted. Kevin's vocal commands are grating to the human ear and shall never be entered into robotic software.