Tag Archive for: fireworks

What Do I Gotta Do To Get A Little Respect Around Here? Put A Firework Up My Ass?

The sum total amount of respect I get around here is zero. That’s point five less than one half unit of respect, the lowest amount legally allowed. On a scale of one to ten, the amount of respect I get is one but only because zero is not part of the scale. So what do I gotta do? Stick a firework up my ass and set it off?

Your Dog’s Guide To A Safe And Happy Fourth Of July, by Your Dog

Fireworks, right? Ugh. Who needs 'em? Look, I haven't forgotten about the incident with the rug last year, and I know that your mate hasn't allowed you to forget either. No one wants a repeat of that.