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A Brief History Of My Obsession With Jeff Goldblum

1993. My mother tells all of our relatives that I’m “very into dinosaurs now.” I ask the elementary school guidance counselor to advise me on how to become a Chaotician. She tells me that this is not a real career, which in retrospect feels like a microaggression.

Lines I Imagine Jeff Goldblum Saying In "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom"

“Life, uh, finds a way. For the fifth time, apparently.” “I…