I Can’t Be Trusted Alone with You, JOANN

Of course you immediately start tempting me by pushing your perfect pair of scissors in my face and CUT MY PAPER HEART OUT—THEY’RE ONLY TWELVEBUCKS! I love you, JO. Mmmm, show me that mixed media paper you know I like, baby. OH, JOANN, 20% off!? How can you be so good to me? With all these glues to choose from it’s no wonder I’m stuck inside you again! You make me want to be so much more than an artist. You make me want to be a BAD artist.