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Did Bigfoot Storm the Capitol on January 6?

By far the most famous Cryptid, Bigfoot was not present. The elusive creature was at his home in northeast Oregon watching coverage on CNN powered by his solar panels and water turbine. The staunch environmentalist has declared his support for Joe Biden in the upcoming election claiming Trump’s push for “oil, sweet oil” as a motive. This tracks with his record as in the 2020 Democratic Primary, he canvassed in Iowa for Washington Governor Jay Inslee.

Mythological Creatures Bi-Annual Pop Culture Round-Table

Dave the Unicorn:   Okay, are we ready to go ahead with the minutes?   Is everyone here yet? Bigfoot:   Well hang on for a second.   Speaking of minutes, could we take a few to talk about this sparkling glitter that seems to float around you at all times?   What the hell is that?    When we finish our meetings, the floor looks like 2 AM when they turn the lights on at a strip club.