Mythological Creatures Bi-Annual Pop Culture Round-Table

Twice a year, dependent upon scheduling concerns, Earth’s mythological creatures meet to discuss today’s hottest celebrities, trends and other bits of pop culture phenomenon.    Here is a transcript of a recent get together:
Dave the Unicorn:   Okay, are we ready to go ahead with the minutes?   Is everyone here yet?
Bigfoot:   Well hang on for a second.   Speaking of minutes, could we take a few to talk about this sparkling glitter that seems to float around you at all times?   What the hell is that?    When we finish our meetings, the floor looks like 2 AM when they turn the lights on at a strip club.
Lochness Monster:   Ha!
Dave the Unicorn: C’mon man…  ugh.   Okay, listen… it’s psoriasis, oka?.  
Bigfoot:   What the fuck, are you serious??    All of that shit is your psoriasis?!   How could you not mention that?
Dave the Unicorn: Okay, okay….   I’m sorry!    It’s embarrassing.   I don’t like to bring it up.
Pixie Fairy:   I just figured it was some sort of magical dust or something.   I’ve been breathing it in for years, you asshole!
Dave the Unicorn:  Jesus Christ, calm down!    It’s not poisonous or something.   It’s just my dead skin flakes.
Bigfoot:    I’m gonna be sick…
Dave the Unicorn:  Can we just get started here?   This is getting way off topic.
Lochness:    I guess the biggest talking point is Taylor Swift.    Has there ever been a bigger pop icon?   She was literally on the cover of every magazine a month or two ago.
Bigfoot:    Ugh, I feel her pain.   That’s a rough existence.
Dave the Unicorn: What??   Are you serious?   You’ve had your photo taken exactly one time!!    Once!!!
Bigfoot:   Yeah, but that one photo has been reprinted, like, everywhere.    It still counts.
Lochness:    Yup, yup…  amen brother.    That pic of me that’s been floating around for years haunts my every step.   Stay strong Taylor!
Dave the Unicorn:  Oh good grief.
Bigfoot:    You don’t know what its like.   You’re in no position to be so flippant.
Carlton the Centaur:     I did that porn movie that one time.
Bigfoot:   That’s not the same thing, Carlton.   And you know it.   We talk about this at, like, every meeting.
Carlton:   Okay, okay.
Pixie Fairy:   Can we please be dismissed now?   This sparkly psoriasis is really beginning to choke me over here.
Dave the Unicorn:  C’mon guys.   I’m beginning to feel like I’m being bullied.
Pixie Fairy:   You’re not being bullied, I can’t fucking breathe!
Bigfoot:    Okay guys, that’s enough.   I don’t think that we’re going to get much accomplished right now.   Let’s just call it a day.
Lochness:    And let’s not forget to take a moment to send some good vibes out to the Golem again.   It’s a real mess over there right now.
Dave the Unicorn:  Yes, yes…  excellent.    And could a few of you guys stick around a grab a broom for the sparkling unicorn dust?   Guys?   C’mon guys!!