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The Best Thing About Taking My Young Kids to the Pool Is Having My Balls Repeatedly Crushed By Their Feet

Ah, summer. The lazy days, the warm breezes, the crushed testicles. There’s nothing quite like unwinding after a long day in a swimming pool with that mellow, full body tingle you can only get from having your gonads savagely wrecked by a careless child’s flailing legs. 

Other Crazy Beliefs Of The MyPillow Guy

"Andrew Cuomo's discarded nipple rings can be used to construct a helmet with which to contact yodeling enthusiasts from other dimensions." "Beverly Hills 90210 is superior to Melrose Place." And more!

QAnon Makes Other Predictions Now That Trump is Out of Office

On July 8th, all of the world’s cats will reveal that they’ve been able to talk this entire time, but just prefer to communicate by meowing and peeing on your clean laundry.

CARTOON: Wallnuts

Allergic to both? Today's cartoon by Paul Lander and Dan McConnell.

CARTOON: Blots o'Laffs