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The Final Diary Entries From the Turkey That The President Did Not Pardon

Just as I begin to feel at peace with my impending death, I think about the turkey that the president is pardoning tomorrow. It isn’t fair. I don’t even know who it is yet, but it isn’t fair. If it’s Marvin and his ball sack-looking ass neck I’m gonna scream.

Quiz: Trump Pardon/Not A Trump Pardon

1. Boris and Natasha (Espionage, Attempted kidnapping of Moose and Squirrel) 2. Charles Manson (Cult Leader) 3. Susan B Anthony (Resisting Arrest) and more!

CARTOON: Criminal Insurance

I'll make less of a mess. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Pardon Me?

Get stuffed. Today's cartoon by Andrew Dicus.

CARTOON: Pardon Me?

More Trump Pardons. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.