Tag Archive for: pizza

CARTOON: Extra Crispy
Family Business. Today's cartoon by Anderson Gronvold.

The Old Man and the Pizza
He was an old man (thirty years old, which feels old) who had been out of the house for eighty-four minutes without having a little something to nibble on. The night air moved slowly and the odors of the city were unkind. He had eaten dinner at seven thirty, but it was merely a salad. It was not enough to sustain him for an arduous journey nearly twenty whole blocks from his apartment.

The Rolex Venti Flex and Other Luxury Brand Collabs We Should Expect to See
Chanel x DoorDash: The Haute Mess Collection
This isn't just a luxury fragrance line. It's a testament to the complete surrender to convenience and culinary squalor. Each bespoke scent features notes of truffle oil, three-day-old ranch dressing, and the cold, unyielding desperation of a life slowly dissolving into meaningless. Spritz on “Pizza Grease No. 5” for that authentic scent of a late-night cry-session over lukewarm pepperoni, or bathe in “Midnight Nuggies” that capture the ephemeral aroma of processed poultry and profound self-loathing. Bottles arrive precisely 45 minutes past promised delivery, are suspiciously warm, and are gently launched at your door by someone who now legitimately hates you.

Mrs. Claus’ Dec 24th To Do (While Santa Is Away) List
Place Frosty's magic hat onto life-sized cardboard cut-out of Brad Pitt, hope for the best. Hose out Santa's "Naughty Dungeon". Deep down, he's a good man; we all have our vices. And more!

A Layman’s Understanding of Food Recipes
A mixture of dry and wet is tossed around in white sand to make frisbee upholstery. A wet sauce is spread with a robot’s golf club onto the frisbee upholstery. A block of white that was rubbed against a robot’s acne, dead animal discs, leaves, a different dead animal, green tubes, and black rings that can’t fit on your fingers are added to the frisbee upholstery.

Quiz: Pizza Cutter Wheel or Doctor’s Head Mirror?
The tool is a circular piece of reflective metal with a small hole in the center. The tool can be washed and sterilized for later usage in a standard dishwasher. No matter how many times you stick it in a DVD player, it won’t play. And more.

#PizzaPickUpLines
I've only got pies for you, I lost my pizza can I have yours? Wanna see my dough face? And more #PizzaPickUpLines on this week's #10 trending joke game!

New Product Ideas From The Makers of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!” Who Are Losing to The Clean Food Movement
“I Can’t Believe You Thought Coconut Oil Would Taste The Same As Butter” “Potato Chips Count As Paleo. Sure." And more.

CARTOON: Heavenly Delivery
Hope traffic wasn't hell getting here. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

Improper Uses of “I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This”
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your test results were positive.

CARTOON: Spice of Life
We might be in a rut. Today's cartoon by Ellis Rosen.

CARTOON: Niche Economy
So many options, just one thing. Today's cartoon by Ellis Rosen.

Talkward w/ guest Caitlin Kunkel
This episode of Talkward welcomes guest Caitlin Kunkel! Caitlin…

I Swear to God, If I Hear “Be Our Guest” In This Castle One More Time I’m Going To Kill Something
Damn it, Lumière. Every single time we have guests over you…
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Bob Eckstein
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Bob Eckstein2016-06-07 13:57:242016-06-07 13:57:24CARTOON: Cheese