Tag Archive for: skipper

Gilligan’s Island Press Conference: The Skipper Warns ‘clock is ticking’ for the Professor as Peace Process Stalls

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The standoff’s wider economic fallout continues to be felt across the Island. “Thurston, my dear,” asked a nervous Mrs. Lovey Thurston Howell III, “what will happen to our investments in frozen pineapple juice futures?” To which Thurston Howell III replied, “Not to worry, we’ll short them. After all, the only people who drink frozen drinks are philistines, arrivistes, and your ridiculous cousin BooBoo.”

Gilligan’s Island Press Conference: The Skipper Blockades Castaway Bay

At a press conference held at the Castaway Island Governing Committee Hut, the Skipper vowed to blockade Castaway Bay. “Effective immediately, we will begin the process of BLOCKADING any and all ships trying to enter, or leave, the Island,” he said, while pointing a bamboo shoot at the attending members of the press.

Gilligan’s Island Press Conference: The Skipper Declares Intentions to Annex the Professor’s Hut

At a last-minute media gaggle held at the Castaway Island Lagoon, the Skipper stated his intentions to annex the Professor’s hut.  “Anything less than that hut in my hands is unacceptable,” he said.  He also announced that he was appointing Gilligan as a special envoy to “lead the charge” in making the hut part of his territory.  “We're going to see what happens. We need [the hut] for Island security,” the Skipper said.  “We have a very good relationship with [the Professor], as you know. We’ll see.

Tips for Becoming A Good Sailor Taken from Different Periods Throughout History

1700s: Teach your parrot to say naughty things. It cannot be overstated how important this is.