Posts

I’m Just a Bull Trying to Catch My Train, and I Can’t Believe How Fucking Terrible Our Transportation System Is

The day started off on the wrong hoof. I left the barn late, Dunkin put my sister’s milk in my coffee, and by the time I made it to the Metuchen NJ Transit station, the only seats left were those skinny little benches between cars. Those seats barely fit toddlers, let alone adults, let alone a 1,500 kilogram bull. 

I Have To Manspread on Public Transportation Due To My Massively Wide Chode

When you see me or any other man stretching out as if the subway is our own personal living room, know that it’s due to our penises being oriented horizontally and shaped like harmonicas.

CARTOON: Running Late

Villains. They never listen. Today's cartoon by Jason Chatfield.

CARTOON: Summer in the City

The train is coming! I swear I heard it, is it really here? I'm so weak. - Today's cartoon by Cerise Zelenetz

What to Do When Your Phone Dies on the Train

Whisper “Siri please” into the rigid husk in your palm.

The People On This Subway Car Ranked By Deliciousness Should It Come To That

Situations like this can force one’s hand. Now, more often than not situations like these don’t involve eating another person, but if it did, and I’m not saying it would, this is who I’d suggest we start with.

CARTOON: First Class

Letter From the R-Train

My dearest Petula,   Please forgive me if my hand is slow…