Upcoming Family Interventions

Uncle Frank: We’ve survived three Trump Thanksgivings. What we cannot stand for is you now finding God. Location: If you get vaccinated, your favorite restaurant.

I’m Sorry I Yelled at You About Your Guns, Uncle Jack

I’m also sorry I mocked you for your food hoards – I’m sorry, I’m sorry, supply stores. I bet *you’re* not out of toilet paper, right? Ha, ha. I know I made fun of the fact that you’d cached so many Slim Jims, but a lot of what you had down there was of solid nutritional value. 

Gift Guide for Everyone in Your Godforsaken Life, Including Karen

Your Ex: Like last year, and the year before that, you drop an unmarked envelope containing your nail clippings under their front door.