What to Do With Your Cursed Labubu Now That No One Wants One
At the time, your new Labubu felt harmless. It was cute, creepy, and temporarily valuable. Now the craze has passed, and you’re stuck managing a small, cursed object with unclear intentions. So now what?
Store it carefully in case the world makes the same mistake again.
Use it as a teaching aid when explaining trends, disposable income, and regret to children.
Repurpose it as a funky paperweight or an interesting bookend.
Leave it out where it can be seen.
Avoid placing it near mirrors since reflections add “variables”.
Rotate it occasionally just to be safe. It needs to know you’re still paying attention.
Leave it exactly where it was when nothing bad happened.
If it screams at night, pretend it’s your white noise generator playing the sound of rain. When the screaming stops, note the time.
Avoid putting it in storage where it would have privacy and time to contemplate.
Do not throw it away. Discarding it would be seen as an escalation and would break the pact.
Accept that trends end. Accept that collectibles lose value. Accept that cursed vinyl is forever.
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J.K. Radomski is a Canadian freelance writer whose words have appeared in newspapers such as The Seattle Post-Intelligencer and The Rocky Mountain News, as well as a number of magazines and trade publications like The Hollywood Reporter. He enjoys one-hit-wonders from the ‘80s, binge watches a lot of TV, drinks Lagavulin, and contemplates the lives of pygmy marmosets in his spare time. Follow him on Twitter @tvwriter
