Melania Trump: My Hilarious Outtakes From ‘Melania’ (99% Score on Rotting Tomato!)

Hello to my millions of fans around world! Thank you for attending my humble documentary “Melania,” which is receiving nearly perfect Tomato score!

And now, as if my humble documentary “Melania” is not enough for you, I have also hilarious outtake reel!

These are not joke on me, of course. No. It is joke on other people! You will see. Let us take a look, okay?

Parsley in Teeth During Makeup Session

Here I am in makeup chair. Someone make me smile, and what do you see? That’s right, teeny piece of parsley in teeth. But this is not joke on me, because we catch before fashion show. That is point of smile!

You thought it was joke on me. But still a little amusement for outtake reel. Also, I fire chef for allowing small food to stick in teeth before fashion show. Ha! That is joke on chef! (And now you see I have also the chop of comedy.)

Disgusting Woman in Fashion Show Audience

Here I am, killing it on top of runway, on four-inch heels! You ask, “Melania, why is this chosen for outtake reel?? You are so beautiful!” Yes, it is true. But then, look a little closer and you will see. We are zooming in, and there is silly woman in audience who is picking her nose! It is disgusting of course. But it is also joke on her, so there is much hilarious in this outtake! My flat model tummy is hurting from the laughter I am giving myself. Oh!

Frightened Waiter on Private Jet

I am on private jet to appear on exclusive runway show in [redacted] [redacted]’s island. A young waiter bring me mocktail. I yell at him very nicely, I say, “My husband is President of the United States. Where is my avocado garnish?!”

He run away. Later, I am hearing the young waiter pee’d in his own pants! I am very sorry that hilarious scene is not visible on this outtake. But now you can add the pee with your imagination! Are you laughing yet?!

However, I did not receive avocado garnish for mocktail, so that is unhappy ending for sure. Maybe even joke on me. I will remove outtake, it is not longer humorous.

Silly Girls with My Director

This is not outtake, but I have hilarious photo of my brilliant director, Brett Ratner, having party with funny girls. They are very funny because they are wearing black tape on the face! It must be costume party. I have attended many costume parties, but not wearing black tape on the face!

Silly girls. They will never be successful top model like Melania when they don’t show the face! But now that I think, maybe they are not beautiful and hot like me. That is joke on them, but sad joke. Oh well, I don’t really care, do you?

Anyway, I ask Pammie Jo to look very very hard for more hilarious photos of Brett with silly party girls. I am now laughing already!

Goodbye, and if you are the one who has not watched “Melania,” please watch now to make perfect Tomato score!

Love,

Melania Trump