Potential Reasons Why People Leave Donald Trump’s Rallies Early: In Order from Most Likely  to Least Likely

The rally up to this point, has been chock full of relevant points and wonderful historical perspectives on the current state of politics that it cannot possibly get any better than it is at this very moment.

---

Imbued by love and support of their rally community, the undeniable devotion and camaraderie is simply overwhelming. All twenty six attendees spontaneously break out into a rousing version of Lee Greenwood’s ‘Proud to be an American,’ as everyone floats euphorically to their non-hybrid vehicles.

---

There is a pride parade in town the following morning and houses and lawns aren’t going to decorate themselves.

---

Scientifically speaking, a side effect of seeing too many red ‘MAGA,’ hats can lead to nausea and restless asshole syndrome.

---

The merchandise stand only accepts Confederate currency and as the one Trump supporter who has PayPal, you start to feel uncomfortable.

---

Purposely mispronouncing Ka-ma-la was hilarious the first four hundred and sixty two times he said it, but it’s gotten a tad stale.

---

All this talk about Joe Biden is starting to get creepy when you consider he’s no longer the candidate. The “lock her up,” chants from 2015 are still topically relevant and completely hilarious though.

---

Part of the terms of probation require the attendants to be in their homes at a certain hour.

---

They need to check on their pets. You know, migrants and all?

---

Scott Baio was a promised guest but instead they got the pillow guy.

---

Hatred, in any form, is exhausting and counterproductive to creating a better life for you and those around you.

---

Donald Trump has absolutely no clue what he is talking about and he doesn’t actually care about you.