Roasting On An Open Fire: Andrew “Ice” Sleigh Roasts Santa

And Rudolph, you red nosed bastard!    I guess we’re not supposed to mention that your nose is a different color than the rest of us though, eh?  Sorry about that.  Old habits, I guess. Still, you should probably have an oncologist check that out.

Okay, here we go… the big man himself.  Christ, Santa… between being a “fat, jolly elf“ and eating millions of cookies every Christmas Eve night, I’m guessing that Ozempic is the centerpiece of your own personal  Christmas wish list.   That “bowl full of jelly” of yours is getting big enough for a couple of strippers to wrestle around in.

And I’ve always wondered:  how exactly do you determine whether someone is naughty or nice?  If they’re only able to stick half a dozen objects into their anus on their OnlyFans page, is that the cut off?

Seriously though, I kid Santa, but he’s the best, right?   Just don’t ask where he gets most of the “free” merchandise that he deliverers. If you take a real close look, the serial numbers have been scratched off of that PlayStation 5.   My advice is:  don’t ask too many questions.

Alright, have a Merry Christmas folks!   Remember that eggnog doesn’t taste as good coming up as it did going down, and don’t forget to tip Mrs. Claus, she’s really been busting her hump for you guys this evening.