Should You Smile More?: A Quiz

1. Yes.

2. I mean…you are frowning. But you’re stressed about work.

3. No.

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2. A man calls to you on the street, “You should smile more, honey. And you have nice tits.” Should you smile more?

1. Yes, and you should thank him for the compliment.

   
   
   

2. Well, you do have RBF. But your cat just died. Although he did offer up a nice compliment, so…

3. No. But do enjoy the compliment. Your breasts are surely better than nice, and armed with these and other amazing assets, you certainly don’t have to listen to men like this creep to build your confidence.

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3. A man calls to you on the street, “You should smile more, Baby. I would fuck you if you smiled more. But I don’t like depressed bitches.” Should you smile more?

1. Yes, and you should take his advice to heart. You’re bad at dating, and it’s probably because you don’t smile enough.

2. Your eyes are red and puffy, and tears are visibly streaming down your cheeks. But you just found out your boyfriend of two years has been cheating on you with your roommate. On the other hand, your roommate doesn’t smile much, either, so…

3. No. Perhaps the upside to being depressed is that you’re deterring this man?

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4. A man calls to you on the street, “You should smile more. If you did, you might not be so ugly. I’d still smash you, though.” Should you smile more?

1. Yes, and you should worry about this until the day you die. During your parents’ funerals, keep grinning. When you visit your brother in rehab, stay cheerful.

2. Perhaps you look irritated and…puzzled? But it’s partly because you’re wondering who still uses “smash” as a verb to denote “have sex.” You may as well at least ask him…

3. No, no, no. Anyone who uses “smash” as a verb to denote “have sex” is not someone who provides excellent advice.

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5. A man calls to you on the street, “Looking good for your age, but you should smile more, and your eggs are drying up. I’ll put a baby in you. Clock’s a tickin’.” So, should you smile more?

1. Absolutely. Given that clock’s indeed a tickin’, you need to get pregnant fast, whether or not you want kids.

2. You’re in your mid-30s, and you haven’t yet learned how to smile on command. What is wrong with you? On the other hand, you don’t need any more wrinkles…

3. Oh, dear. Sweet honey baby. If you are ACTUALLY looking for an egg fertilizer and don’t have a suitable candidate at your disposal, there are several options that you are likely aware of, given that it’s somehow okay to recommend egg freezing to strangers these days. (It’s not.)

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6. You’re in your therapist’s office. You hear, “You should smile more.” Should you smile more?

1. Yes. You’re in your therapist’s office. C’mon.

2. Probably. You’re paying your therapist $300 a session, so you may as well heed their advice…

3. No, because the person telling you to smile more is not actually your therapist but some dude with a full bicep tattoo that reads “Pussy” with a giant black-and-white image of a cat licking her own vagina in the waiting room. And, as your actual therapist tells you, he’s not even a patient. That’s right after she’s instructed him to leave the premises.

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Key: Mostly As, Bs, or Cs: You don’t need to smile more. Especially at your parents’ funerals. In fact, please don’t do that.