Plagueboy Magazine

This Month’s PlagueMate Will Have You Rising Quicker Than Current Virus Cases!

Stuff I Carry in the Gaps Between My Boobs and My Ill-Fitting Bras

What do you keep in your bra gaps? Written by Claire Tadokoro, and illustrated by Sarah Kempa.

Welcome to The Lure, A New Coworking Space For Women Who Are Sea Hags

Apply Now: Fill out your application and chart a new course for your life! And while you're here, chart the course of that Caribbean cruise you've been dreaming about. The doomed won't feast upon themselves, ladies!

4 Uses for Your Amazing She Shed That Totally Aren’t Murder

THE POTTING SHE SHED The smell of fresh earth is intoxicating. Not as good as huffing craft glue, but not bad. The earth gives life, and takes death when your enemies shuffle off this mortal coil. With no help from you, of course. Pour all your troubles into a decorative clay pot you adorned with cute birdies, and watch the world melt away. All your troubles. Dirt hides a myriad of sins. Buries them, you might say. The last place they’d think to look is underneath your thriving Pom Pon dahlia bed. Look for what? Ha ha! Nothing but potting soil and a giant set of pruning shears hides in your trusty, padlocked she shed.

How to Trick Your Hairdresser into Suggesting Bangs So You Don’t Have to

Bring a 3D visual of your ideal cut: Specifically, bring a mop.

CARTOON: Costume Questions

The Future is Female Fun. Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.

Casting Call for the Supporting Role of Boyfriend - Apply via Submittable

To apply, carefully read and complete all sections (A-F) below. Submissions should be free of spelling and grammar errors. Submissions should also be free of your unsolicited commentary on the “super uptight” requirements for landing this role. 

How To Tell If A Woman Wants You To Approach Her, Based On Her Lipstick Color

Orange: Woah, what a unique color choice! She absolutely wants you to say something. Be sure to tell her that not many ladies can pull this shade off, but she sure does! Women love being told they’re superior to other women, especially in a hypothetical competition they didn’t asked to be entered in. “Orange” you glad you spoke up?

6 Types of Girls You’ll Meet in the Emergency Room

The Girl with a Pole Through Her Head: Seriously, how is this girl even still alive? But of course, her hair still manages to look flawless- Classic girl with a pole through her head!

A Female Acceptance Letter to an All Male Group Project

Think of this project like a pregnancy, where the girl does most of the work, but the guy swoops in at the end to get half the credit.

CARTOON: Volume Value

Volume non-value-add. Today's cartoon by Evan Lian.

Talkward w/ guest Brittany Brave

Today on Talkward is guest Brittany Brave! Brittany is a stand-up…

Classic Male Movies Remade as “Feminist” Flicks

Ghostbusters, Oceans 8, and the coming-soon remakes of timeless stories like 'What a Woman Wants' have shown us that women have very low standards for what is considered a feminist “win” for Hollywood. So here are my pitches for the next ballbuster blockbuster...

Football Moves That Can Also Be Used To Reject People Hitting On You In Bars

You’re probably aware of the game they call football.  But…

What to Expect After Implantation of Your Newterus®, the Hottest Feminine Upgrade Yet!

"Female cosmetic genital surgery is rapidly gaining popularity."—Plastic…

Elevator Pitches for Lifetime Movies

She had to do it Because She Couldn't Have Kids. Janelle, a…