We all remember how much we loved it when that cast member was on the show. I’m sure that person is totally available, and would love to drop everything they’re doing to fly across the country/globe from wherever their current project is filming and give up the majority of their weekends from October through May to appear in an SNL cold open. Each week, they could deliver us a forever-memorable topical sketch where they stand behind a plexiglass podium or sit behind a foam-core Resolute Desk and deliver setup/punchline two-liners about whatever Republicans or pop stars did over the past six days.

Debbie, I’m not kidding. You see, I’m a Resolutions Girly. I talk about my New Year’s resolutions incessantly from December through January. I force friends, loved ones, and even strangers to share their goals with me, too. I refuse to let any conversation end until I've heard resolutions I find satisfactory. So come on, Debbie. I’m sure you have at least one thing you’d like to change…