I'm a CAPTCHA, and I'm Having a Midlife Crisis

You may have noticed that lately every time you have to prove you’re human rather than one of those increasingly sexy spambots, the pictures that you have to identify are either motorcycles, sports cars, or yachts. That’s my fault. I’m a CAPTCHA, and I’m having a midlife crisis. 

Christmas Song Lyrics that Go Hard to Sell You a New or Preowned Vehicle

“We need a little Christmas right this very minute,” and you need a rebuilt aftermarket Hyundai Sonata in your driveway ASAP. A giant red velvet bow will cover most of the hail damage. (Bow sold separately.)

CARTOON: Check Yourself

Light of my life. Today's cartoon by Shelby Parker.

CARTOON: Fill'er Up!

Time to get a bike. Today's cartoon by Paul Lander & Dan McConnell.

CARTOON: Humming

Watch out for low bridges. Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.


Furrari, Mouserati, Purrche, and more #CatACar on this week's trending joke game!

When I Gave You My Virginity, I Didn’t Think You’d Put It In the Same Box As Your Childhood Teeth

We had a sweet relationship. You were the nicest first boyfriend a girl could ask for. You brought me coffee before class and taught me how to put air in my tires. In return, I gave you the most precious thing a girl has to offer: the eternal lotus flower of my immaculate virginity. 

The New Porns

Unwatched 10 episode-per-season, 7-season series on Netflix Porn, Look at me I’m a celebrity who is getting notoriety for something shameful and disgraceful Porn, and more.

CARTOON: Car Shopping

Wait til you see the trunk! Honk. Honk. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

What's On The DVR?

Pixar Presents Keeping Up With The CARdashians Disney's…