CARTOON: Prehistoric Planning

Stone Age Savings. Today's cartoon by Ed Himelblau.

CARTOON: Dessert Defense

Don't care to share? Today's cartoon by Rose Anne Prevec.

CARTOON: Beach Hang

Enjoy the sand between your toes and other places. Today's cartoon by Peter Kleinman.

CARTOON: Portal Problems

Doubt it will come up anyway. Today's cartoon by Vaughan Tomlinson.

CARTOON: Lazy Achievements

The Secret to my Unsuccess. Today's cartoon by Mat Barton and Adam Cooper.

'So Your Fiancée Woke Up with a Pumpkin Head, Now What?'

Now that there’s a huge pumpkin head walking around your house - meals are going to be a little trickier than normal. If however you eat all of your meals alone while hiding in a closet then please, skip this step. Food is going to be a problem because your lover has no way of eating it - she just has three goofy teeth and no jaw motion whatsoever.

CARTOON: Over it Outfit

Last Lewks. Today's cartoon by Eric Kofman.

CARTOON: Stormy Arguments

Take the high ground, if you can find it. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

CARTOON: Dusty Decor

Leaning in. Today's cartoon by Lynn Hsu.


Free streaming. Today's cartoon by Shannon Wheeler.


No work out, just work. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

If You Are Reading This You Have Found My Husband Drunk After Two Cocktails And Are Reading This Stapled To His Coat Sleeve Like A Mitten

This note is not here for his safety; it’s for my sanity. Sure I could come get him, but sometimes it’s nice to have some solo Diane time. Tell him that he should stay out for as long as he wants.

CARTOON: Workout

You can run, but you can't hide. Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.


Don't slip up! Today's cartoon by John Anglin.

CARTOON: Puzzle Love

Puzzling Love. Today's cartoon by Grayson Gibbs.

CARTOON: Fashion Watch

Going somewhere? Can you imagine? Today's cartoon by Brandon Hicks.

CARTOON: Keto Question

Some avocardio might help. Today's cartoon by Tyson Cole.

How to Tell If Your Spouse Has Been Using Your Time Machine Behind Your Back

All right, being off by one or two years is understandable, but once you’re off by decades or centuries, it’s time we sat down and had a serious talk, and it’s also time to change the lock and/or hiding spot for your time machine.

CARTOON: Always Use A Coaster

Be safe. Use a coaster. Cartoon by Jack Loftus.

Transcript: On a Date with an NPR Host

Phil: Tonight’s date will be in four parts: Act I: Pleasantries: Shallow, nonaggressive compliments, observations about the restaurant’s rustic decor; Act II: Dinner and the Exchange of Personal Anecdotes: I’ll tell my story about that time I saw John Travolta at the post office; Act III: Foreplay: Are ears an erogenous zone? We’ll explore each other’s bodies and find out; and, finally, Act IV: Lovemaking: Can two souls still passionately intertwine in our modern age? Stay tuned. Anna: Sorry?

CARTOON: Fight Club

The true sounds of silence. Today's cartoon by Rich Sparks.

Most Romantic Valentine’s Day Lies

  “I’ll love you forever.” In cosmic terms, a human…