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Conducting Yourself Properly During A Séance

Bringing a Ouija board to a seance is like bringing a lice comb to an orgy; it's bad form, just don't do it.

My Sleep Rider: Contractual Requirements for Sleeping at a Friend’s House After Age 35

Noise Levels: Once The Light Sleeper enters the Designated Sleeping Space, silence must reign for the following ten (10) hours. The Host commits to ameliorating any excess noise, including, but not limited to: household snoring, street noise from the nearby fire station, pet snuffles, and whatever that creaking pipe and/or Victorian ghost situation was last time. 

Getting the Most out of Your Haunted Mirror

The reflection of a haunted mirror is often an actual parallel dimension, and given half a chance an inhabitant of that dimension will attempt to possess and replace you at the first opportunity. This of course would leave you trapped in the mirror dimension, but so what? Who couldn't use a rest from the problems and responsibilities of their normal, daily routine? Just make sure that the reflection contains a nice, comfy bed, a tv and your bong. Now you're all set for the ultimate staycation!

Thanks For Selecting Our Airbnb, P.S. It’s Haunted 

Feel free to use both our washer and our dryer, we keep the laundry detergent under the sink. Before inserting your load, take the cowbell off the shelf above the laundry machine and ring it three times. This should scare the poltergeist enough that he vacates the washer. If he’s in the dryer, you’re out of luck – he really likes it there. 

Haunted Houses for Dads

This haunted house is filled with socks. I can handle this, you think, I love socks! You sift through the piles and a vague feeling of dread envelops you as you realize there are no white crew socks anywhere. Only ankle socks and no-shows. All garishly colored. You look down at your feet and your white crew socks are gone. Replaced with ridiculous-looking, no-show socks that are…blue? What the hell? You grab a hideous sock from the pile that is threatening to engulf you and stuff it in your mouth to quell the screaming.

5 Things to Prepare for Once You’ve Released the Fallen Angel from Mike Pence's Urn

Oh dear. Now, you’ve done it. Despite countless,…