Posts

Prince Harry Joins Our Start Up

“VC” now also stands for Viscount. Employee “Google Bus” now stopping in Montecito. If Oprah boards, do not look her directly in the eye. We’re “on the way” to her favorite candle store, so she is, of course welcome to board, or as Harry put it, “What Oprah wants, Oprah gets!”

The Cavalry Is Running Late

2:25 p.m.: Had to turn back. Alvin forgot his horse. Don’t feel like you have to wait for us to start the battle! 2:27: p.m.: Is there free parking in the scorched castle? 2:30 p.m.: Can’t find the horse. Checking bottomless pit in town square.

The Overlook Hotel’s Safety Measures for Reopening Now That We Know the Hotel Is a Sentient Being That’s out for Blood.

While it appears the hotel is a sentient being that has taken control of every caretaker we’ve ever had, turning them into psychopaths who have killed or attempted to kill their entire family, we want you to know we’re doing everything we can to keep it from doing that to any of our guests. However, since spiritual forces are notoriously difficult to contain, we’re legally obligated to alert you to the voluntary risks you’re taking by staying with us. 

Whimsical, Feel-Good Alternatives to Some Stephen King Classics

Carry: Blanch is not a popular girl. See, Blanch has an imaginary friend she talks to whenever the impulse takes her: a pet rock she calls Carry.

Rejected Names For The Royal Baby

Chunderly, Prince Princely Pooferpants, Brexie and more.

Drunk Cartoon: Fast Food