Posts

Truly Terrible Beach Tips

Be sure to bring a sunblock bottle that contains at least 16 ounces, an excellent way to sneak in your vodka.

Why Don’t You Call her What She Is – Your Octopus *Whore*

What has she got that I haven’t got, Craig? Besides eight mesmerizing tentacles, the ability to change color and texture, and a disinclination to speak? I’ll dye my hair any color you want, but I’m sorry, buddy – I’ve only got the two arms, and neither of them are covered in little suction cups.

CARTOON: Whale Whine

Time to move to the tail. Today's cartoon by Madeline Horwath.

CARTOON: Keeping Up

Feeling stranded? Today's cartoon by Steve McGinn.

Tips for Becoming A Good Sailor Taken from Different Periods Throughout History

1700s: Teach your parrot to say naughty things. It cannot be overstated how important this is.

Rough Start to Summer: A Lifeguard Has Ordered the Ocean Drained After a Whale Pooped In It

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Plus, it's gross.