Tag Archive for: presidents day

Thomas Paine Is Not Happy With Self-Checkout Machines

The defenders of this machine tell us it is progress. They tell us it is faster. They tell us it gives us control. Yet what sort of progress requires a man to perform labor while pretending he has been liberated from it? What sort of control demands waiting for an associate to come check your ID so you can buy mouthwash? What sort of speed requires an attendant to be summoned like death himself every time the machine deems a barcode perplexing. 

What Other Ex-Presidents & VPs Did With Classified Documents

Aaron Burr: Scribbled furiously over every “Hamilton”, Jimmy Carter: Recycled, Dick Cheney: Turned into wallpaper for secret underground mountainside soundproof bunker. And more!

Welcome to Our Town’s Walking Tour Where We Choose to Focus on Abraham Lincoln’s Visit Here and Not That Famously Bad Thing That Happened in the 80s

Thank you for meeting me here under this lamppost at 3:30PM, and welcome to my hometown’s walking tour. As most of you know, our town is famous because – for a 22-hour period of time – our nation’s 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, stayed here. Yep, that’s what we’re known for. Nothing else. No matter what a certain HBO documentary might lay out in graphic detail. Anyway, let’s get started!

Other Catchphrases John Wilkes Booth Considered Before “Sic Semper Tyrannis!”

“You can’t HANDLE the Booth!” “To Confederacy…and beyond!" “All lives matter.”

Moments from Post-Presidential Comedy Careers

John F. Kennedy: Seinfeld-type Comic: Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what’s the deal with the Bay of Pigs? 

Finally, Other Presidents Trending on Twitter on President’s Day 

Doing terrible with @weightwatchers points this week.  @WilliamTaft 🍕🍩🍗 Most. Boring. Impeachment. Ever. @DickNixon✌ ✌ #Watergate and more!

CARTOON: Ways to Make Presidents Day Special

Many ways to show you care. Today's cartoon by David Ostow and Dan Salomon.

CARTOON: Presidential Intervention

Lured him in with 4 Big Macs. 3 didn't do it. Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.

CARTOON: Birdie or Bogey?

Can we wrap this up? I have a tee time. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.