The Campus Is a Shit Show, but We Planned a Terrific Alumni Weekend!

11 a.m. Welcome Address from Our New Chancellor (Campus Center) - …And that New Chancellor could be YOU! We will have a Hunger Games-like drawing to decide who will run the college. Your responsibility will include figuring out what to do with the protests, explaining to the media AND parents our point of view (your call as to what that could be), and what we (you, again!) plan on doing going forward.

Dracula Plans To Visit Village of Recent Vampire Attack

Your town’s Baron, the pathetic bag of flesh, is not doing a good job of maintaining law and order. He has stoked your anarchy by suggesting that I am somehow complicit in these vampire attacks. Am I the King Vampire? Yes. Do I have control over those whom I turn into the un-dead? Yes. Should I intervene when vampires attack villagers? Over my un-dead body.

CARTOON: Support

They see you and support you, from up there. Today's cartoon by David Ostow.

Hey New York Times, I went ahead and edited that Tom Cotton piece for you

Since it seems the actual NY Times Opinion “Editors” were asleep at the wheel on this one, I went ahead and edited that Tom Cotton opinion piece for you. I’ll be sending you an invoice.

CARTOON: The End...

I'll just see myself out. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Trump's Other Photo-Op's You Might Have Missed

Trump used tear gas to clear peaceful protesters so he could have a photo op with a bible and a church. But there were other photo ops you might have missed!

CARTOON: Donald Trump - President Provocateur

Would know those tiny hands anywhere. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

CARTOON: Protest Profits

You can't argue with logic.

How to Be a White Ally Without All the Hassle

Are you distressed about the results of the recent presidential…