Posts

I’ve Decided to Replace the Guinea Pig With a Larger, Slightly More Calculated Guinea Pig

I didn’t want this to happen. When I went to Petco and looked for the best guinea pig to defend all the other guinea pigs, I felt confident that I was walking away with the right one. But recently, some disturbing accusations have come to light. In the wake of these alleged scandals, I may be forced to do the unthinkable: Replace this guinea pig with a slightly larger, more calculated guinea pig. From a different Petco, of course. 

Diet Tips for Presidential Hopefuls

We’re body positive now, which means that I’m positive you need to make some body changes.

Other New Florida State Board of Education Guidelines

World War I: Not necessary to teach - too boring. World War II: Describe how even broads can find a place in society once learning a marketable skill. Catholic Church sexual abuse cases: Never happened. And more!

Ron DeSantis Never Gave Lap Dances And Eight Other Newly Discovered Examples of the Mandela Effect

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis first rose to fame as a founding member of the Chippendales erotic dance group. But it didn’t really happen. DeSantis never actually thrilled women in any capacity. The above is a classic example of the Mandela Effect. That’s when thousands of people “remember” something that didn’t exist, like Curious George having a tail, or King Henry VIII holding a turkey leg. Are these mass misconceptions a coincidence, or are people tapping into an awareness of an alternate reality? Read on for more examples of this bizarre phenomenon.