Posts

Black Magic Friday's Best Deals, Steals & Spells!!!

Sell your soul before 12/31/22 and receive a free glow-in-the-dark Mariah Carey fanny pack. All inverted cross actually prepared as inverted, and not just normal crosses that we turned upside down. And more!

I am Definitely Not Friending You on Facebook Just to Sell You Skincare Products

Hello again! I see you updated your profile picture. I love that you’re going for the natural look and really embracing your wrinkles. I really admire your bravery. I wish I were that brave. Instead, I hide behind this anti-wrinkle serum...

GoFundMe Story Written By An Influencer Who Totally Hates To Accept ANYTHING From ANYONE

I need to be in SoHo to be surrounded by my fellow influencers and high-ranking members of society. As you know, I hate networking (see my YouTube video “Daily Struggles Of A Hot, Social Introvert”) but it has to be done.

Note of Appreciation From Dinosaur Old Business To Customers Still Buying And Not Using The New Business Disruptors

We thank you for upholding the idea that even though there's a cheaper, more sensible way to eat, sleep, drink — do virtually anything — you don't care. You want things to stay the same. Because staying the same is the only way we can respect the past and keep people like us alive. You realize that once our business dies off -- and it will -- life will never be the same.

Letters Smuggled out from the Front Lines of Amazon’s Never-Ending Holiday Sale

How is Anthony? Is he grown? Does he have his first girlfriend yet? I hope the life-size 6ft dummy I sent with my last note was a suitable replacement for my non-attendance at his piano recital. We’re almost to hump day of Cyber Monday Deals Week, and I fear what will follow. I miss you and hold hope to return to see the family for our annual Christmas Celebration on January 14th

CARTOON: A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.