Hi Babies! <3
Even now, after all we’ve been through together, I feel so reluctant to ask you, my devoted followers for help… Help that I would, of course, give to each and every one of the 5.1 million of you (as of 5pm EDT Wednesday!) in a heartbeat if I could.
If only I could, but I can’t. Can’t, because I, Mandy Hawkins aka MeditativeMandy™ need the help.
I need your support to raise $1.2M in order to move out of my current toxic living situation into a one bedroom apartment in SoHo.
For minutes, I toiled with the idea of soliciting you all, my 5.1 million very best friends, for financial help. Not because what I need isn’t a life or death situation, but because I never accept ANYTHING from ANYONE.
Literally never. My mom used to offer me rides to school but I refused her generosity because I couldn’t stand to be seen in her ‘94 Ford Explorer. Mostly though, I couldn’t stand to take up her time :’(
Some of you may be thinking, “Oh no! MedidativeMandy™ What’s wrong? Are you being bullied? Is it by your ugly, plebeian roommate who is jealous of you? Is this why you went to Cabo instead of hosting that yoga class in Times Square we all paid $250 for in advance?”
Unfortunately, yes, yes, and YES.
As a respected, Instagram-verified public figure, I’m not going to disclose all the sensitive details on GoFundMe.
It’s not fair to my former, unclean roommate Penny “Piggy” Vanterheusen, my pending exclusive book deal for “How Meditation Helped Me Survive My Disgusting Roommate” (pre-order link down below) and truthfully, it’s not fair to me either as much as I hate to point it out.
The living situation had become borderline dangerous (Piggy knows I’m allergic to the scent of kimchi) and I could no longer create the thoughtful, original content for you all that I once had.
Which is why you all kind of owe me here, even though you totally shouldn’t 🙁
So now, at the urging of basically all of you and not my crippling addiction to international travel which has resulted in an obscene amount of credit card debt, I’ve warily decided to put myself first for the first time in my entire life, ever.
Anyways, the only comfort I take from making this request is knowing that it’s such a small favor for you to do that makes a world of difference in my own humble life of adventure, love, and seemingly infinite Instagram stories.
See, I would be FINE living back home in Jersey with my parents under normal circumstances. However, in order for me to be my most authentic, creative self, I need a luxury one-bedroom apartment complete with marble counters and the expensive kind of vegan leather.
I need natural light to shoot my 3-hour Facebook Live “Sleeping Yoga” sessions for you.
I need to not have a vicious roommate who contemptuously snores every night, preventing me from being my best self every morning.
I’ve had to triple my eye filler appointments, but has Piggy offered to pay for any of the medical costs? You guessed it.
I need to be in SoHo to be surrounded by my fellow influencers and high-ranking members of society. As you know, I hate networking (see my YouTube video “Daily Struggles Of A Hot, Social Introvert”) but it has to be done.
Your generous donation will cover the following:
- 12 months rent
- My penalty fee for breaking my former lease and my Caviar subscription expenses
- My boyfriend’s penalty fee so that he can live with me <3 s/o @RuggedRoyce ily!
- Reimbursement for my recent trip to Cabo that I unwillingly took in the name of healing self-love
- Down payment on an adorable brownstone, because I’ll probably be done with my “edgy” phase in a few years and will need a house to settle down in when I become a premiere lifestyle consultant.
I know, the $1.2M will barely cover the above, but I couldn’t bear to ask for more.
However, at the pleading of so many of you, I will keep this fundraiser active for the next two years in case you’d like to donate more.
It’s really not even a donation because In return, I will document my entire moving process through Snapchat stories, Facebook Q&A sessions, Instagram Live Feed, and much much more. You will see me at my best and at my worst.
But first, you’ll see me at my best! Head over to my Insta to check out my Moving Day Outfit (sponsored). Go to NastyGal.Com to shop the look and use my code MeditativeMandy_TM at checkout for a 2% discount <3
Claire Tadokoro is a writer from Kansas City living in New York. She works in publishing for Simon & Schuster and is basically paid to read books. She studied satirical writing through the Second City. Follow her on Twitter @ClaireTadokoro